Sweetie's World

 The past 7 days have been really challenging as my health suffered due to inconsiderate people around me and partly because I failed to take good care of myself. The weather have turned colder and it is the season for the cold virus to be attacking susceptible victims. I found myself hating almost everyone in the department because majority have no cough ethics and I do wonder if they have been through a pandemic and if they qualify as health care worker. It annoys me a lot that my college would pull down his mask to cough……  Oh, I just realized I did not finish the above post and that was written on 7/11/24. I feel like I just came back from being half dead. I have never felt so sick and alone and scared. I had my blood drawn a total of 4 times and this is the most number of blood taking I ever have consecutively. First it was by a very professional medical assistance, then by a registra in my department followed by a colleague and finally a nurse. I should say I was lucky all of the

A few weeks ago I met a patient with insomnia and he was under psychiatry follow-up. Somehow, the insomnia that an average person experiences is nothing compared to the particular patient's. I was shocked to know that he sleeps an average of 2-3 hours a day and with sleeping pills, it could probably be up to 5 hours. I find it hard to understand how a person could be so alert. It made me wonder if he is more accomplished by sleeping less and being able to stay awake to actually live life. I do see sleeping as a temporary death where you lose all awareness and suddenly fail to exist within the period of zero consciousness. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I will be missed while I am asleep or forgotten.  The past few weeks have been a roller coaster and I somehow made it through the ride without having a heart attack. I learned about trust, perseverance, friendship, and resilience. Of all the things I learned, I love the part about trust. Out of feeling stressed, I somehow handled it

I plan to be away from the keyboard until I pass my exams. No more looking at shorts and no more writing my blog (maybe, but writing helps regulate my emotions). Every second is precious. I will sacrifice my wedding anniversary and probably treat myself to a piece of lamb chop from that expensive shop opposite my university. Then again, my partner says some animals with high levels of consciousness is not for consumption. That includes pork and beef. I don't eat beef but I do love pork. I forgot which one has higher consciousness is it sheep or goat? The one that hops a lot is supposed to have higher consciousness. Kind of ironic that he is accepting everything his teacher says but thankfully he isn't fanatic about it as he still eat a lot of pork and when I bring it up that isn't it not recommended and he was like "it isn't always". This is the reason why we are still humans and not Gods. ] Last night I entertained myself with this math question ABCDx4 = DBCA

 I discovered a social media account recently with lots of interesting math problems and solutions. The channel is called 许多快乐的许多吖，basically the little girl's name is 许多 and she is very well articulated and solve math problems in an interesting manner. I had to restrain myself from checking all her videos as I am limiting my screen time since I have so much more reading to do. Somehow watching her videos make me happy and I get to learn how to solve math problems in a different manner. I really want to thank my friend from China for making me reinstall WeChat and in a blink of an eye, it has been a year since I reinstalled the app and we are also friends for a year now.  I enjoy our friendship very much and it is one that abide to social boundaries. He is probably someone God sent me after everything I went through online to teach me that this is how online friendships should be. What I learned from our interaction for the past 1 year is that we barely disclose much about ourselves

 结婚前我们说过不要因为结婚而让爱情变亲情，因为我想和他永远都在热恋期。就算不是热恋，也不想成为现代大部分的情侣，婚后爱情好像也冻结了。我很开心每当我在他身旁，他都有努力的发挥他对我的爱。我很在乎吃饭时他是否会不会夹菜给我，我冷的时候会不会调小空调或给我拿外套，好吃的会不会留给我吃等等。我在乎是因为这些都是我们日常生活里，他会为我做的事。那天中秋节，我们到了干妈家吃饭，他不但为我夹菜也帮我拨虾壳，让我觉得好幸福。 我们回家的路途上，我有让他知道他为我做的我都非常感激因为我明白情侣之间没有任何东西是理所当然的。每次在外面吃东西，若是他付钱，我也会说声谢谢。他就喜欢回答“你是我的老婆呀，这是小事而已，又不是大餐”。 同样的只要我付钱，他也会和我说谢谢。 我真的很想他，也很想念我们的家。我以为我已经把监控录像头装好了，可以通过手机看看客厅和大门可是我现在却看不到。就因为这么小的事，我感到一点难过。 回到我这个简陋的房间，有点喘不过气的感觉，真的很想赶快离开这里。 我有问问他要如何计划我们的未来，可是他说我的事业只有我能决定，不是由他来说。这一点我当然知道，可是我就是想听听他的意见。 经过商量，我想我不会选择去很忙的地方上班，毕竟工钱都是一样的，没必要让自己那么幸苦。 我虽然喜欢学习，可是看了和我同行的因为被上司欺负导致压力而自杀，我也得好好想想自己以后的路程。 最好是去一个没那么多上司的地方或一个我就是我部门里最高职位的人。尽然世界都有很多坏人，我何必要为自己找麻烦贴近那些古灵精怪的上司呢。 政府最近也宣布要提高公务员的薪水，可是好像没我们想象中的美好。听说是要把一些津贴取消，所以到最后等于没有加薪，真是狡猾！反正我打算不签新的方案因为我觉得很好奇为什么如果不签就没得加薪，好像利用加薪来诱惑公务员的感觉。很多时候政府让我们选的东西都不是好东西，最没脑的是它还出了一个一千多页的电子书来解释这个新的方案，谁会看呀？ 天啊， 你得保佑我考试过关，我答应会加倍努力行善。我会好好的利用我今生做对的事情。 我接下来的打算就是学针灸治疗法还有利用天然的方式治疗病人。西医治疗法虽然是有根据的，可是很多都是治标不治本。我也觉得西医最近一直在推广各种各样的疫苗，真的很可怕！ 我也不支持器官移植，就是因为有这种东西才会导致很多无辜的人被活摘器管。当医学的发达做了很多逆天的事，我相信这个世界会变

 Sigh my body really can’t handle too much of cortisol and despite me trying not to gain weight, I have gained weight. At least my significant half is being frank and I could accept that he find me less appealing. Most important of all is that he still loves me. I have to keep reminding myself that men in general could separate intimacy and love. I somehow seems to categorise intimacy and love into one and that is why I felt a little worried that he didn’t want to be intimate.  The weather’s been horrible since I arrived here and it was so rainy and windy. I thought I could go hiking or running to loose weight but instead the cold weather made me hungry and I feel like a bear wanting to eat and then hibernate. Staying at home is really nice as I get to sleep in the most optimum condition and I get to have a nice warm body to cuddle me. I still feel that the safest place in the entire world is to be in the arms of my Loved one. That was how I felt back in 2012 when I was so upset and he