Sweetie's World

 I discovered a social media account recently with lots of interesting math problems and solutions. The channel is called 许多快乐的许多吖，basically the little girl's name is 许多 and she is very well articulated and solve math problems in an interesting manner. I had to restrain myself from checking all her videos as I am limiting my screen time since I have so much more reading to do. Somehow watching her videos make me happy and I get to learn how to solve math problems in a different manner. I really want to thank my friend from China for making me reinstall WeChat and in a blink of an eye, it has been a year since I reinstalled the app and we are also friends for a year now.  I enjoy our friendship very much and it is one that abide to social boundaries. He is probably someone God sent me after everything I went through online to teach me that this is how online friendships should be. What I learned from our interaction for the past 1 year is that we barely disclose much about ourselves

 结婚前我们说过不要因为结婚而让爱情变亲情，因为我想和他永远都在热恋期。就算不是热恋，也不想成为现代大部分的情侣，婚后爱情好像也冻结了。我很开心每当我在他身旁，他都有努力的发挥他对我的爱。我很在乎吃饭时他是否会不会夹菜给我，我冷的时候会不会调小空调或给我拿外套，好吃的会不会留给我吃等等。我在乎是因为这些都是我们日常生活里，他会为我做的事。那天中秋节，我们到了干妈家吃饭，他不但为我夹菜也帮我拨虾壳，让我觉得好幸福。 我们回家的路途上，我有让他知道他为我做的我都非常感激因为我明白情侣之间没有任何东西是理所当然的。每次在外面吃东西，若是他付钱，我也会说声谢谢。他就喜欢回答“你是我的老婆呀，这是小事而已，又不是大餐”。 同样的只要我付钱，他也会和我说谢谢。 我真的很想他，也很想念我们的家。我以为我已经把监控录像头装好了，可以通过手机看看客厅和大门可是我现在却看不到。就因为这么小的事，我感到一点难过。 回到我这个简陋的房间，有点喘不过气的感觉，真的很想赶快离开这里。 我有问问他要如何计划我们的未来，可是他说我的事业只有我能决定，不是由他来说。这一点我当然知道，可是我就是想听听他的意见。 经过商量，我想我不会选择去很忙的地方上班，毕竟工钱都是一样的，没必要让自己那么幸苦。 我虽然喜欢学习，可是看了和我同行的因为被上司欺负导致压力而自杀，我也得好好想想自己以后的路程。 最好是去一个没那么多上司的地方或一个我就是我部门里最高职位的人。尽然世界都有很多坏人，我何必要为自己找麻烦贴近那些古灵精怪的上司呢。 政府最近也宣布要提高公务员的薪水，可是好像没我们想象中的美好。听说是要把一些津贴取消，所以到最后等于没有加薪，真是狡猾！反正我打算不签新的方案因为我觉得很好奇为什么如果不签就没得加薪，好像利用加薪来诱惑公务员的感觉。很多时候政府让我们选的东西都不是好东西，最没脑的是它还出了一个一千多页的电子书来解释这个新的方案，谁会看呀？ 天啊， 你得保佑我考试过关，我答应会加倍努力行善。我会好好的利用我今生做对的事情。 我接下来的打算就是学针灸治疗法还有利用天然的方式治疗病人。西医治疗法虽然是有根据的，可是很多都是治标不治本。我也觉得西医最近一直在推广各种各样的疫苗，真的很可怕！ 我也不支持器官移植，就是因为有这种东西才会导致很多无辜的人被活摘器管。当医学的发达做了很多逆天的事，我相信这个世界会变

 Sigh my body really can’t handle too much of cortisol and despite me trying not to gain weight, I have gained weight. At least my significant half is being frank and I could accept that he find me less appealing. Most important of all is that he still loves me. I have to keep reminding myself that men in general could separate intimacy and love. I somehow seems to categorise intimacy and love into one and that is why I felt a little worried that he didn’t want to be intimate.  The weather’s been horrible since I arrived here and it was so rainy and windy. I thought I could go hiking or running to loose weight but instead the cold weather made me hungry and I feel like a bear wanting to eat and then hibernate. Staying at home is really nice as I get to sleep in the most optimum condition and I get to have a nice warm body to cuddle me. I still feel that the safest place in the entire world is to be in the arms of my Loved one. That was how I felt back in 2012 when I was so upset and he

 I still feel rather odd why does my husband do not seem to want me in a sensual manner. We do live in harmony but there is a lack of intimacy. He says he is just very exhausted but I am exhausted too, yet I am willing to invest some extra energy for intimacy. I know he is a super visual animal like most if not all men and maybe it’s the weight gain that is a turn off for him. Well, if I am a guy, I definitely would like to sleep with the 10 years ago me than the current me. The 10 years ago me was a fit, 42-45kg young looking girl and the current me, well I don’t look older than my supposed age but I definitely don’t look young especially with the strands of white hair. I lost some of the elasticity of my skin and the chubbiness on my face that gave me the young look. My wrinkles are much deeper and I have crows feet at the corners of my eyes. Only 痒痒男 and another creepy guy seems to indicate I have a nice butt, although it is so wrong and perverted of them to even comment about my bu

 So I have arrived to the quaint town of Ipoh, but it is such an odd hour and I have to wait another 1 hour plus to eat dim sum. I can’t sleep in the bus as usual and my upper back hurts now. It was my fault for not placing my bag in the luggage compartment and keeping it with me so I only have two thirds of the seat to myself. My sweetheart is late, so I shall ask him to treat me to breakfast. I am planning to treat him for dinner and I already know what I am having - mala hotpot!  Yesterday really went by like a whirlwind, worked from    8am-845pm and rushed back to my room for a quick shower before taking the bus which was supposed to leave at 945pm. My colleagues told me it’s school holidays and traffic is heavy so I may want to leave earlier. My sweet taxi driver offered to pick me from my workplace as he knows I’m rushing but I think it takes more time to make the u-turn with the traffic lights so I ask him not to come over and he met me across the road. I took an ultra quick sho

 I can’t help it that opportunities seems to just keep coming my way and I ended up not having a single rest day for the week. Prior the weekend, I was fantasising of sleeping in and waking up somewhere around 8am but reality is I have been waking up at 7am to help my boss with private wing cases. I really enjoy the extra pocket money and I love doing my job. Somehow I manage to study a little and made up my mind about the coming week.  I have decided to skip classes and just stay at home doing things at my own pace and peace. Having a pause from the suffocating environment will do me good. Just like the weekends when there is no continuous medical education sessions and hours of classes, I find myself to be happier. I just cannot be a student anymore as I just cannot pay attention if a session is longer than 40 minutes. Perhaps I could keep my focus for an hour if the person delivering the lecture is able to make the subject interesting, otherwise I prefer studying on my own. How I wi