It’s been 10 years since I fade away from your life. Some series of events lately made me think of you. I used to feel sad when I think of how we drift apart but now I think it was the best thing for you and thus I am happy. Rewinding back to yesteryears I realise we were all so innocent and friendships were made of steel. Despite us being different genders we remained good friends and proved that a girl and a guy can still be the best of friends without having any romantic thoughts. However I can finally understand why back then your crush was so insecure about me.
We spent so much of time together and did a lot of crazy things together and if I have to list down 10 best memories it would be these 10:
- Walking in the rain with our raincoats on and umbrella. I still remembered the colour of the raincoats it was yellow and pink.
- Jogging in the evening and doing stretching together and very rarely go to the the swimming pool.
- Participating in fear factor university version and we won along with 2 other girls whom one is still my current best friend.
- You took my parents sightseeing in Penang in your car and we went to Kek Lok Si together. I remembered I bought a keychain that glows in the dark and it has a single grain of rice in it with your name written as a gift of appreciation.
- Having night walks around campus and laying on the benches seeing the stars.
- Remember that mini museum about plants or mangrove near the uni where we went and you took a footage of me from the cctv? I find that funny and I think I still have the photos somewhere.
- Having all our meals together. I think I really look forward to eating together because we have lots to talk about.
- Getting your good morning text everyday which always starts with something positive.
- How you always address me as “Mei” and I address you as “Jie” and told everyone you are my Ji Mui! Best Ji Mui ever!
- How you told me how I can sort of make my boyfriend fall for me more which was so funny. I still recall one of the tactic is to clasp my arm around his arm so that he can feel part of my chest being very closed to his arm. I was also so furious later on when I never get to do this and some random girl he met overseas took a photo of her arm clasping around his and I thought of the tactic you mentioned.
Naming 10 is just too few and till today I can still remember your ring tone - A thousand years by Christina Perri. Oh, one of the gesture you did which left me a little “OMG” was removing my eye “shit” for me when you saw it as the corner of my eyes. That’s pretty crazy (and quite yucky and a little embarrassing for me) and that made me feel you were really like my sibling, my family. I think we had more memories and they were always happy ones. Then it came a day where your martial arts mate fell for you and that was the turning point. I still recalled between our hostels in the evening we had the talk. You felt I was suddenly making way for both of you to spend more time and you told me “If I loose a sister for a girlfriend, I rather be single” of which I told you “don’t be silly, your other half is the one that will accompany you for the rest of your life”. And with that you spent more time with her and less with me. Then one day you told me that you can’t take me out anymore as she doesn’t like it and so we interact even lesser until we seems to don’t interact at all and just remained polite to each other.
I am glad that today she is your wife and what I did was right although it was heart wrenching back then to loose a best friend and a partner in crime. Oh one more memory, the one we take extra bread from the cafeteria just to feed the fishes at the pond. That was pretty mischievous of us since the bread were meant for the students. I know you still cared for me despite us not communicating and followed my progress closely in social media and I on the other hand didn’t seem to track on your progress. Perhaps it was a way for me to allow time to heal from the lost of a good friend. I’m sorry I didn’t made it to your wedding and I’m sorry for not letting you know I got married until yesterday where I decided to send you a text to show you my gratitude towards you.
I am so touched that you responded and added an emoji with the teary eye and told me that you kept thinking when am I getting married with my then boyfriend. I know you are happy for me and I am also happy for you. I do look forward to a day where we may meet again and maybe we could go on a double date with our partners- or maybe no- well probably it would be awkward.
Here is a quote I chance upon lately and I think it is meaningful:
“You deserve to be in environments that bring out the softness in you, not the survival in you” -@RonneBrown_ | Twitter
My deepest gratitude to the people and universe who always brings out the softness in me ❤️
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