Sweetie's World

I haven't calculated how many red packets I have sent him, and I'm sending one now as a money transfer, since the upper limit for red packets on WeChat is 200 (or perhaps I don't know how to adjust it). No, he is not a scammer, nor does he say anything improper. Knowing his background gave me the impulse to want to be his fairy, genie, or whatever that could make his life better. His life is wonderful as he is living his dream, cycling around his country and enjoying various picturesque sceneries and food. He do not at all exude any lack and he gives me the impression of being contented.  However, his eyes are really blank. It felt lifeless. No matter how much I tried to look at his eyes from the photos he post on his social media, I just felt it was lacking of passion and spirit. It really didn't match his kind easy-going nature that he portrayed. When I asked my friend to take a look at his photo, I got the same feedback - his eyes is empty. Sometimes I do wonder why ...

 Today I feel stuck again, just like how I used to feel trying to forget someone trying to wash away memories that no longer bring me happiness but sadness. Perhaps it is because today is also III’s birthday (coincidentally same day as the birthday of my Love one). I don’t know why I have to think of him and the times we played Gunbound together and he taught me how to use Beetleking. I’m back to thinking about what could have been if I did not play Gunbound with him. I definitely will have less sadness. I think I just cannot understand the part where he just ignored me. I have told myself over and over again there is nothing to understand, just move on. Thanks to him I no longer befriend anyone online after that. The friends I have online are the ones I know prior to knowing him and he taught me a good lesson to never invest too much time and energy into online friendships.  I can’t tell this to anyone because it’s an internal war within me. There is also no point in sharing ...

 A tragedy took place a few months back. Our beloved golden retriever passed away at a young age. She was only 5 years old on 23rd January this year, and we were just saying how she gave us 5 beautiful years. I really thought we could have another 5 beautiful years or more. However I am used to deaths and parting and goodbyes so I know I can overcome the emptiness I feel and time heals. Sadly I couldn't say the same for my brother and his wife because they spent all their time with her at home and she is part of them. Both of them work from home everyday and the joy of being at home mainly revolves around Ginger their beloved pet/ daughter. Yup, both of them treated her as their baby daughter as they do not have any children and I think Ginger have the best life a pet could ever have.  I think I will never have a pet ever again after losing 3 pets in a span of 1 year. However I could not deny that pets bring a lot of joy and comfort and perhaps the price of losing them is not ...