Skip to main content

太认真

 我才认识“小三”不到两个月,但是当他今天拉黑我,我觉得如此的难过。他说没拉黑但是明明把我删掉了。就上个星期三打游戏时他对我不耐烦,我也有点不开心就和他说“拜拜,下次别约我玩游戏了”。然后我们没有说话,直到早上他说 “怎么没有和我说早上好 生气啦”。 我也没回应,我不是不想回应可是感觉他可以随心所欲说我,没有顾虑我的感受,所以想让他知道我真的不喜欢也不允许他可以乱乱和我说话。没想到这几天游戏里他不说话,群里我也没说话,他也说得少,然后今天他不在我游戏好友列表里。我感觉很慌,我讨厌失去的感觉。我是个执着的人,是个重感情的人。也因为如此我才很难受。

今天和王者说了我的感受他问我是不是M人,我听不懂,接着他说我是很喜欢SM的吗?我也不懂那是什么东西。他解释说喜欢被打、被骂、被侮辱的,就是喜欢疼痛的。我说我不是呀,他觉得小三都这样对待我,我也没做任何对不起小三的事那么我为什么不能有点志气呢?我觉得他说得对,可是心里依然难受。

金先生呢就劝了我以下几个句子: 

“失之我幸,得之我命,难过是我执”

加上他拉黑我时,把我从游戏删掉时也不难受。 - “不是彼之悲也”

“所以干嘛用别人的错误,来惩罚自己。”

到最后他说 “ 你的选择,在感情上继续前进,你的理性,在逻辑上不断完善,就好了”

我说我老公都笑我傻,他说:

“哈哈,那是你善,但要给对的人,不是么?”

我哭了挺久,不是我想哭,是我控制不住眼泪一直掉下来。感觉真的很累。心,真的很累。我也很卑微的尝试再加他好友可是已经12个小时多了,他也没接受我的好友邀请。我太认真,太投入了。最糟的事是他惹了群里的一个人,然后刚巧是有权力把人从群里踢出去,他就因此被踢出群了。我有争取让他留下来,说要发红包我不能发那么我就送礼物。但是他还是被踢出去。真的无语。

我说他一直被踢可能会受伤,可能不再进群了。会长姐姐很潇洒的说“缘分到了自然就回来”。 

我还没修炼好我的心态。 一直修不好的话怎么去下一个境界呢? 

小三,谢谢你又来给我上人生的一堂课。再见了。

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Out of the blue

 I remembered I used to cry a lot about Icy, and I was very confused with my own actions and emotions. During that period, I needed someone to talk to, and I did not want to talk to anyone who knew me in real life so I just spoke to someone random in-game. He joined the clan and I used to want people to be active and donate clan points and make a lot of reminders for members to play world boss. It was also during that time that I cleared out some members to make way for new ones. I may have recall bias as I had a lot of sadness in me back then and when I am sad I cannot recall things properly. I just remember the guy was from Brazil and when he heard of my story he was mad at me as he said I was unfaithful to my husband and he left the clan and deleted me as friend. I was rather shocked with his response and at that time I was also sad as I realize no one will ever be compassionate enough to understand my feelings.  Anyway that was more than 1 year plus ago. I think I stopped ...

我的救星

 感觉阿财短短的生命给了我好多教训,其中一个就是要珍惜身边所爱的事务。我一直以为她能活得比我久但是我错了。年轻并不代表能长命。我开始放下手机,开始多出门做点户外活动。也开始意识我上网所珍惜的网友并没当我一回事,是我自己觉得他们很重要。感情的投资我相信都是求回报的,因为单方面的投入只会消耗自己。我那天在大佬面前那么卑微,我也觉得很丢脸很不因该。我那时的想法就是不管我多卑微,我只想和他交朋友。可是后来他没有如朋友那样对待我, 他只想着自己的感受根本没考虑过我的感受。 阿财是我今世最乖巧的宠物,从来不给我添麻烦。可是我们不小心伤了她 - 那时她跑到我车底,爸爸努力把她拉出来,伤了她的脖, 我真的好难过。她病了两个星期才过世,这两个星期我们到底为了她做些什么呢?如果我早点给她取暖,早点给她抗生素,她还会活着吗?阿财死的样子就好像在沉睡,我摸摸她的头和鼻子,好想她给我一点反应。我还以为她在“冬眠” 试着摸摸她可爱的短腿,心里求着神明让她活着,可是也没反应。我还想着如果耶稣死了能复活,能不能让阿财也像耶稣一样复活呢?我真的不喜欢有关宗教的故事,都是骗人的。 我把支付宝里的小鸡取名为“阿财”,让阿财永远都在我记忆里。我也想,每天记得她但是我同时也放下让她去投胎。我发现我们一张合照都没有,但是没关系我还有她吃东西时的视频,她的眼睛充满灵性的看着我。想着她活着的那些时光都是美好的。因为她,我会更努力的珍惜一切,最需要珍惜的还是自己。 明年这个时候能不能亲自去体验桂花香? 

Her Dream, His Dream

Once upon-a-time... ...and they lived happily ever after The End I bet most of the fairy tales we hear during our childhood years sounded very similar if not exactly as the statement above. I have always wanted my life to be similar to those story where there's magic, love, eternal happiness and most important of all my very own prince! Please note that prince here refers to life-partner and it does not equal to the average "boyfriend". It's not like I'm going to be seen with a wedding ring and a veil over my head very soon but I do admit, I would really love to get married with my prince as fast as possible so that I can reach the part of the story where " they live happily ever after". However, I learn that in reality, nothing can be as flawless as in the tales which have been the basic foundation of my life. If life has no flaws, earth would have been known as heaven. Even so, life is still beautiful and I learn that for a marriage to ...