Oh wow, so almost a month had passed since I last wrote. I have a lot to write, but there is just no time to do so. Work life is bad due to the lack of manpower, and it occupies more than half of my life. Still, I am resilient, and I do not feel overly pressured. Besides, it is not my company, and I only get a fixed amount of pay at the end of the month, so there's no point in worrying. Yes, workload increases, but I only have a pair of hands. Imagine from a total number of 12 we are going to be down with 4 by August, and there is no news of anyone new joining. Currently at 6, and the younger, less resilient ones are already complaining. I am bad at listening to complaints and do not like listening to complaints so I just go about my work and go home, trying my very best to make it home on time everyday.
Yesterday I did a math problem and it was fun. Sort of a revision for me. I almost forgot the rule on how to calculate the sum total angle of a polygon. I felt accomplished to get the answer right at the end without the help of any artificial intelligence. It seems some of the people in the group resort to artificial intelligence every time they could not solve a problem and I think this is going to make our generation to come to be less and less independent. I think we should all use artificial intelligence but we should not be too dependent on it. I suddenly think of Icy too after solving the math problem and wonder if he is still a math tutor. I do not wish to actually know but it was just a thought I had yesterday. Of course we will never communicate again because that would cause more harm than good.
I think I am absolutely fond of "teacher" and I did not top up my WeChat pay because I know sooner or later he might feel insulted if I often send him gifts or red packets. I know he is from a humble background and he was brave enough to let go of a stable life to travel around his country. Living in a cage and looking at someone else living the dream, I just felt like being his sponsor. I wish he could experience more things and do not feel limited by the pricing of certain things. I have made up my mind that I will never want to meet him in real life and I just want to have this safe distance between us. We still communicate daily as he always have things to share about his travels but I do wonder after 1 year when he is back home, this will go back to normal. We wouldn't be communicating daily and it's going to be back to hearing from him one or twice a month. I don't look forward to that.
On 6th of June which was also a Saturday (666), he bought me a gift. This is the first time I receive a gift from him and I felt really happy. He is near the borders of North Korea and found some North Korean commemorative money and asked me if I am interested in it as he knows I love collecting money. I asked him how much was it but told me to just answer yes or no. I told him yes and he bought it for me. I was a bit worried if it is pricey as I saw two of the money was 10,000 but I am glad to find out that these money are samples and although they are bank notes they cannot be utilize to purchase things as they are samples. Even so, I think it was really nice of him to get them for me. I asked him how do I get it from him and he told me if I happen to visit, to give him my address and he will post it over. Now I feel I really must take a trip to Beijing in September so that he can post my gift to me.
I am just a little bit guilty to go on a trip when there is lack of people working. I wish I can have a bit more of a "F-it" or "I don't give a damn" character but it is so hard to do so. I wonder if it is a block I have within me that makes me this way. It is not good because I do not want to end up burning out. I need to live a little bit more for myself. At the moment, as I type this, I am trying my very best not to go ask my colleagues if they need any help because no one ever asks me. I need to learn to not ask too although I do feel bad about it. It is going to be the only weekend I am free for this month and I want to go home on time today and enjoy the next two days doing things I love.
Okay it is almost time to pack up and go home, and outside is raining with loud thunders. I feel like taking a nap once I reach home or make some hot noodle soup and watch a movie while eating hot noodle soup.
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