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我失败了

 恐惧是我最不会处理的感受，我不喜欢在大众面前说话可是我经常都控制好自己的情绪，不让别人发现我其实很害怕。 今天我做不到，也许是过度操劳或者是心态问题，我的手很明显的在抖。我是个敏感的人，今天的观众也不是很善良，感觉都在嘲笑我紧张的样子。 可能是我自己多想了，反正今天的经验我以后都不想再面对。 

宝宝去了老师的大树屋居住，也许也没信号，我给他的简讯都没通过。 我相信宝贝会懂得安慰我，因为我还是安慰不了自己。 刚才和上师描述我很难过差点哭了。就一直深呼吸把眼睛张大希望眼泪不要落下。 后来就赶快逃回酒店大哭了一场。以为哭了以后会感觉舒服点可是心情还是很低落。我为什么没控制思想、心态和情绪？ 我今天对我自己感到万分的失望，这真的是我吗？


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