Skip to main content

Libido

 I still feel rather odd why does my husband do not seem to want me in a sensual manner. We do live in harmony but there is a lack of intimacy. He says he is just very exhausted but I am exhausted too, yet I am willing to invest some extra energy for intimacy. I know he is a super visual animal like most if not all men and maybe it’s the weight gain that is a turn off for him. Well, if I am a guy, I definitely would like to sleep with the 10 years ago me than the current me. The 10 years ago me was a fit, 42-45kg young looking girl and the current me, well I don’t look older than my supposed age but I definitely don’t look young especially with the strands of white hair. I lost some of the elasticity of my skin and the chubbiness on my face that gave me the young look. My wrinkles are much deeper and I have crows feet at the corners of my eyes. Only 痒痒男 and another creepy guy seems to indicate I have a nice butt, although it is so wrong and perverted of them to even comment about my butt. My husband still feel it is not good enough and prefers it to be rounder or what is known as “bubble” butt. He also wishes I have nice biceps and firm abs which I don’t have right now nor did I have them then. 

I didn’t know about the debate between the sexes about getting loss in the jungle and choosing between a bear and a man. 痒痒男 was the one who explained to me about the whole situation and says that most men will prefer their woman to spend time with a man instead of a bear because the bear will eat her alive whereas the man could at least help hunt food and they can try to survive together. So, I asked my husband and he did say the same that if I were lost in a jungle then he would prefer I am with a man than a bear. I proceed to ask him what if the man wants to have sex with me? His answer was “well that is not for me to decide, it is for you to decide whether you want to consent or not”. Okay so in the end of the day, most men are rational and they pick the option that gives the best chance of survival. After all these conversation, I think if he were to get lost in the jungle, I would prefer he is with a woman too instead of a bear.

Sigh, I feel really “ugly” and I can’t wait to do something about it. Just that right now my energy is just not invested in self care and beautifying myself. It doesn’t help the fact that I am now on the day of ovulation based on the app I use. Previously I read that an ovulating woman will appear more “attractive” to men but I am glad to know there’s no strong evidence and in fact the evidence is conflicting. Maybe my husband falls into the other category who doesn’t find ovulating woman attractive. Okay, I am not going to overthink. Besides, it is true that we are much older now with lower libido and by not having sex I don’t have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant. Remember the condom is only 87% effective when used correctly between couples who have regular intercourse. 13% risk is just too risky for me. 

Okay, pass my exam, then beautify myself and seduce my husband later on. I still have a lifetime to seduce him. Good night. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Singapore

Continuation from yesterday’s post.  I finally ate the ice cream which is sandwiched between two wafers that I saw before and it was yummy because there’s like a huge block of ice cream and the wafer was thin. I chose peppermint chocolate and raspberry swirl. It was really fun to eat that on the helical bridge that totally looks like a DNA strand. I really love this region and it was also the same place where the fun run was held. So I got to go across the helical bridge twice. I am also very happy to finally seen the Merlion and since it was early in the morning during the fun run, the place was rather quiet and there were not many crowds. I wanted to properly run the fun run but I end up walking most of the time just enjoying the scene and talking to people since it was supposed to be a networking event. Delegates from 142 countries were there but I only manage to make friends from Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Germany and New Zealand. It was quite hard to make more

Her Dream, His Dream

Once upon-a-time... ...and they lived happily ever after The End I bet most of the fairy tales we hear during our childhood years sounded very similar if not exactly as the statement above. I have always wanted my life to be similar to those story where there's magic, love, eternal happiness and most important of all my very own prince! Please note that prince here refers to life-partner and it does not equal to the average "boyfriend". It's not like I'm going to be seen with a wedding ring and a veil over my head very soon but I do admit, I would really love to get married with my prince as fast as possible so that I can reach the part of the story where " they live happily ever after". However, I learn that in reality, nothing can be as flawless as in the tales which have been the basic foundation of my life. If life has no flaws, earth would have been known as heaven. Even so, life is still beautiful and I learn that for a marriage to

今天我想离婚

结婚一年多了,一直都觉得对方是爱我的,不会让我吃苦。 我错了。  那么多年一直相信他若是还没立业是不可能和我求婚, 因为恋爱的过程中他说过等到有十万的储蓄才会想结婚。我想我一定不会活得很幸苦因为他一定能让我们在经济上很稳定。我的好朋友很年轻时就写了有关爱情和面包的事, 他描述了没有面包根本就做不了很多浪漫的事。我也认同,因为只要有钱我们才能有很多选择权。 可是我是个笨女人,我从来没有花我男人的钱,也从来不问我的男人到底有多少钱。我觉得我们都是青梅竹马,感情是真实的。我还是个少女时,都很渴望能像别的女孩在情人节收到鲜花或礼物,可是我都没机会体会那些因为我爱的人不相信情人节这种东西。  今晚心里终是有很多的遗憾。早上丈夫发了一个视频给我看,标题是 “人妻好吃不黏牙” 就是一位叫“空姐姐”录的视频。 我看了我就和他说我明白别的男人对我好很有可能有别的目的。 我一个同事,我叫他“痒痒男” (因为他很色)也和我说过男人和女人是不能做朋友因为到最后男人只想把女人给睡了。我觉得这个想法很恶心,真的不能和异性做朋友吗?我有和丈夫提出我需要更多的关照,希望他能主动联络我,能给我个出乎预料的来电或简讯。 可是聊下去我们就意见不合。他说他很忙最好是设定一个我们两个人都有空的时候来联络,我听了很生气感觉自己小小的要求他也不能为我实现。结婚了一段时间,我想如果他在我的感情需求不能满足我,那么我留在他身边当布置品吗?他说他要的是我的支持而不是抱怨, 很多事不是他不要做而是暂时做不到, 他这个解释我接受不了。  当初不是不要我吃苦的吗?钱财上我还是自己独立养自己, 那我要求他给我一点他的时间和关心他还要谈条件,他心里到底有没有我?到最后我说没关系,我觉得空虚,觉得寂寞时自己会上网玩游戏和游戏里的人聊天。他也说了一句 “Ok" 然后我也不再多说了. 我还以为晚上我们下班后他会打个电话认错或陪我,可是他没有。我真的很后悔和一个固执的男人结婚。其实到最后每个我认识的男人都是一样的, 说的话和行动并不一致。“空姐姐”说得对,女人认真就输了。 我真的很累。我知道不能随意说离婚,我也没提过,可是今天我真的很想离婚。 这次我真的不要让步了,他欺骗了我没给我一个好生活,结婚真的只是一张纸 - 这也是他自己说过的一句话。我不想伤我们双方的家人,也许现在我还是带着情绪写这一切,今晚我们彼此没联络也许是件好