My brother and his wife got a new golden retriever, and I think it brings a lot of joy and happiness for them after dealing with the loss of their former dog. Actually, they never got over it, and when they decided to get a new dog, I believe they had thought and pondered upon it for quite some time. I was happy to know the current dog was so much like the former dog that my brother believed his former dog have reincarnated to the current dog. However today on Mother's day, I realize my mother is not a nice person, and I feel she has so much to reflect on.
Both my parents have their own hidden agenda as to why they didn't want my brother to have another dog. So far these are the few things I can identify:
1) With the dog's fur flying around the cleanliness of the house is compromised
2) They refuse to babysit if my siblings decide to leave to overseas or outstation (Then they should never stop them from sending their pets to pet hotel!)
3) They cannot enjoy vacation together because they just came back from Vietnam and my sister-in-law was the one who planned everything and they always enjoy going with them
4) They don't want to go through losing another dog (they always think the worst, and my mom had an issue with the new dog being a golden retriever again)
5) They do not approve of pets staying indoors
6) My dad basically feel it is expensive and it's a waste of money to own a pedigree with potential health issues
At the end of the day, it is none of their business; my brother and sister-in-law are entitled to how they want to live their lives and my parents should not make them feel bad of the choices they made. I just find my mom especially evil today when she said that the death of the previous dog was due to the negligence of my siblings. I was quite enraged as all of us loved the former dog and I know how well my siblings took care of her. The final blood result showed leukemia and she was the last of her litter to have survived.
My mom is the classic reason why I don't believe in religion. She prays all the time, but she has a very dark heart. How can she blame my siblings for their beloved pet's death? Only an evil person would say that. Besides, she said many untruthful things such as they always head out and come back late, and never feed the dog on time. As far as I have lived with my siblings for 30months, I have never seen them do such things. They would always get stressed if they couldn't get home early, and they hardly go out, as both are self-employed, working from home daily. I don't think Jesus would be pleased with my mother today if there really is Jesus.
Sometimes I feel the reason my parents don't have grandchildren is a form of punishment from above. I never knew that was how they felt about my siblings having pets. They have often brainwashed me to have at least 1 child so that they could be grandparents (again for their own selfishness), and I am glad I never agreed to it. My brother and sister-in-law badly want a child, but they can't seem to conceive, and I see it as a blessing for them, as it is not really ideal to have your own offspring in this era. I find most things are so weird these days that I don't think bringing a new life into this world is a good idea.
I do not feel sorry for my parents at all as all my life they have dictated a lot of things and have never listened to what I want or need. This is also why I do not seem to choose my relationships wisely because I think I lack of parental love. I was only a tool for them to realize their dreams while sacrificing my own dreams. I do believe if I had become a vet, my life would have been much better, much more fulfilled and richer without the stress of having to face a lot of medicolegal problems or do on-calls. Of course, complaining about this right will not help me at all. If I want a better life, I have to be the one controlling my life and not others.
It is really exhausting interacting with my parents. I guess my mother will never be grateful in life and will always be comparing and complaining. I will definitely further my studies. Anything to get away from them. The new dog brought a lot of hope for me, it is a reminder that the people we know the most might not be who they are and we should be brave enough to make choices on our own.
Life is short, I really wanted a good relationship with my parents, maybe I am being too critical and emotional. Perhaps our relationship is fine, it is just today that everything feels terrible. Oh, today I realize teacher woke up the same time as me and visited our pet chicken at the same time. I didn't text him but he did. I don't want to get used to having his text messages because I know it is only temporary. I just want to remind myself daily, not to get used to it and that nothing is permanent. I just need to remind myself of his blank empty eyes. If I do not even know my parents' hearts, I need to be even more careful about other people's hearts
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