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今天我想离婚

结婚一年多了,一直都觉得对方是爱我的,不会让我吃苦。 我错了。 


那么多年一直相信他若是还没立业是不可能和我求婚, 因为恋爱的过程中他说过等到有十万的储蓄才会想结婚。我想我一定不会活得很幸苦因为他一定能让我们在经济上很稳定。我的好朋友很年轻时就写了有关爱情和面包的事, 他描述了没有面包根本就做不了很多浪漫的事。我也认同,因为只要有钱我们才能有很多选择权。 可是我是个笨女人,我从来没有花我男人的钱,也从来不问我的男人到底有多少钱。我觉得我们都是青梅竹马,感情是真实的。我还是个少女时,都很渴望能像别的女孩在情人节收到鲜花或礼物,可是我都没机会体会那些因为我爱的人不相信情人节这种东西。 


今晚心里终是有很多的遗憾。早上丈夫发了一个视频给我看,标题是 “人妻好吃不黏牙” 就是一位叫“空姐姐”录的视频。 我看了我就和他说我明白别的男人对我好很有可能有别的目的。 我一个同事,我叫他“痒痒男” (因为他很色)也和我说过男人和女人是不能做朋友因为到最后男人只想把女人给睡了。我觉得这个想法很恶心,真的不能和异性做朋友吗?我有和丈夫提出我需要更多的关照,希望他能主动联络我,能给我个出乎预料的来电或简讯。 可是聊下去我们就意见不合。他说他很忙最好是设定一个我们两个人都有空的时候来联络,我听了很生气感觉自己小小的要求他也不能为我实现。结婚了一段时间,我想如果他在我的感情需求不能满足我,那么我留在他身边当布置品吗?他说他要的是我的支持而不是抱怨, 很多事不是他不要做而是暂时做不到, 他这个解释我接受不了。 


当初不是不要我吃苦的吗?钱财上我还是自己独立养自己, 那我要求他给我一点他的时间和关心他还要谈条件,他心里到底有没有我?到最后我说没关系,我觉得空虚,觉得寂寞时自己会上网玩游戏和游戏里的人聊天。他也说了一句 “Ok" 然后我也不再多说了. 我还以为晚上我们下班后他会打个电话认错或陪我,可是他没有。我真的很后悔和一个固执的男人结婚。其实到最后每个我认识的男人都是一样的, 说的话和行动并不一致。“空姐姐”说得对,女人认真就输了。 我真的很累。我知道不能随意说离婚,我也没提过,可是今天我真的很想离婚。


这次我真的不要让步了,他欺骗了我没给我一个好生活,结婚真的只是一张纸 - 这也是他自己说过的一句话。我不想伤我们双方的家人,也许现在我还是带着情绪写这一切,今晚我们彼此没联络也许是件好事。他真的让我心碎。


他有时间刷面书,有时间和工人闲聊,有时间听那些有关政治的无聊视频, 可是就是没时间陪我! 就因为我每次都不想吵架就选者看开一切,可是我今天真的看不开!

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