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Goodbye Hug

Out of the blue my friend texted me today to have hi tea at one of the 4 star hotels here. He told me he have a voucher for 2 and asked if I would like to go. I was thinking why not, since I am free and I have never been there for hi tea and also the voucher would go to waste if it is not used. Sadly when I checked online, it was not available for hi tea today and the next available date is on 15th June. Good thing I checked as I immediately informed him and it saved us from making an unnecessary trip there. He invited me as he have some things to pass to me since he can't pack everything back home and hope the items could benefit others. I was happy that we got to meet again as I thought the other day was the final goodbye. 

We ended up going to a cafe since he said he still would like to have tea. He had a waffle with dragon lychee soda and I ordered croissant, mixed potato and sweet potato fries, and an orange juice. I lied to him that I would pay with QR pay so that he wouldn't pay for the meal and told him I wanted cash and he could pay me with money later. Seeing that he was spending so much to go home and had to sell his car at a very low price, I did not want him to treat me. I had underestimated the portions and ended up packing back the fries as I felt rather full. Again like the other night when he offered me to try the pork chop he ordered, I declined, and this time I declined too when he asked if I would like to try the waffles. Mainly because I felt like I am breeching personal space if I sampled his food and we are friends who are very polite to each other. Of course out of politeness I also asked if he would like to have some of my food and he declined too. 

I went to his place after our tea time and looking at the state of his packing, I think he need to start worrying if he can finish packing by tomorrow night. It was rather funny as he took a box and asked me to pick whatever I want. Initially, I felt like I was taking an unfair advantage of him. In the end, I just reasoned with myself that if I did not take the things, it would go to no one and would be left behind so I just nodded as he asked me "Do you want this mirror?", "Do you want this salad drainer? "What about these notebooks?", "staplers and stickers and laundry basket?". Gosh, I really took a lot of things and out of everything I like the lamp, jar, fancy pen and notebook he gave me. We managed to talk a little bit more as he was waiting for a customer to pick up some of the things he managed to sell. I told him frankly that I was going to take the blankets for my partner's workers and he said okay and told me it was nice of me to be thinking of the workers as not everyone treats their workers well. 

I was afraid he would say things that are from the heart as I was already feeling a sense of melancholy to know that this was the friend who I overlooked as I was too occupied with other emotions previously. I think I am getting better at controlling my emotions as I was able to hold back things that I want to say. He told me that it must have been my eyes, he thought I was a nice person when he first saw me and said to himself that he must talk to me. He even remembered details up to what pattern of operating cap I was wearing - the blue Mickey Mouse cap. I thought I often wore that cap as there was a grumpy Mickey expression on the cap and it was to send a subtle message to the people around me to "stay away". I rationalized that it has to be the eyes since that is the only facial feature that is visible between the cap and the mask in the operating room. He could also recall the exact time frame of our encounters at the hospital which I never paid attention to. I felt really touched to know that there is a person at work who actually looked forward to bump into me. He told me every time he is scheduled for the theaters, he would think if he could see me but most of the time I am elsewhere. I am glad to know I am not a "malignant" staff who people wish to avoid. It felt nice to know that someone actually had a good experience crossing paths with me. 

He helped me carry the things up to my room door when he dropped me although I told him I could manage it myself. I also informed him my room is too messy and it is embarrassing as I have my laundered clothes hanging on the clothes stand so he left the things at my room door. Before going out, I discussed with my partner and we thought it would be good to give him a red packet to wish him all the best and so I picked a meaningful figure which was a small sum but signifies 出人头地, which means to be distinguished/ successful. I think it was really meant to be as in our conversations, he did say he wished to bring changes to the practice in his country. I was shocked to know they do not have the equipment for laparoscopic surgery which is often the gold standard for certain cases such as ectopic pregnancy. I will always remember that he told me the reason he went down this path was because it is something he likes to do which reminds me it is indeed something I liked to do too but I had let general standards of success (which is having lots of money) made me believe I might have chosen the wrong path. I did not tell him that he reignite my passion towards my career as I felt it will sound too sentimental. Besides, I am conscious and constantly regulating my emotions. 

As I passed him the red packet which he said I shouldn't have prepared, he put both his arms out and I think that should be an invitation for a hug so I gave him a quick hug. I was a little conscious as I was sweaty from the weather and I usually give people a handshake or a fist bump or high five but I think hugging is as rare as a unicorn. With that, it is the real goodbye. I wanted to say "I will miss you" as I pulled away but instead, I said, "I will miss seeing you at work" (as I was worried if it would be inappropriate) and he told me that he would miss me. I managed to say "Keep in touch and everything is near with telecommunication services" but I know it will not be the same anymore as interacting in real life. Since it was not our custom to hug, I felt obligated to tell my partner that I hugged my guy friend and I was glad that my partner said it was fine. I guess Cancer and Leo people make great friends? My Ji Mui is a Leo himself and we were the best of friends until he went into a relationship which made me learn that it is rare that friendships with the opposite sex would last unless both sides have partners that are comfortable with that friendship. I do wonder if his wife knows about my friendship with him, but as far as from my side, my partner knows everything. 

Okay got to prepare for an online meetup with my new mentor. I am thankful to have the opportunity to be blessed with a mentor without any charges for a year and I have listed my goals and expected outcomes. The best part is, we will be attending the same conference this July in Kuching and I will get to see her in person! I think it is amazing because She is from India and we never pre-planned for a real-life meetup but somehow the circumstances are such that we will be appearing in the same place at the same time despite being from different places. So tell me how not to believe in miracles? I accept that it is mere chance but still, I couldn't help feeling that some divine force is driving me in this path that is meant for me. 

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You! 


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