If all goes well, the 1st of July would be the day we move house! Provided the home is ready for us to move as it is quite empty now. This was also one of my concerns as rituals stated that the master bedroom must have the bed and wardrobe and the kitchen should have the stove. I am not sure how is my partner going to cope with getting all that stuff as most places barely offer instant delivery and some items may need to be ordered and all these need time. So as a wife who always plans for everything, I can only tell him "对不起宝贝，这些临时的事我是没什么经验，我帮不了你。我只能说“加油，加油!”给你精神上的支持“。
After a year plus of being a wife, I learned that there are things that you need to stand on the sidelines and watch patiently. The best you can do as a wife is never nag or say stuff to aggravate the situation. So, doing nothing at all is better than trying to fix things because by trying to help you will end up getting stressed and it builds resentment over time. This is one useful skill that I mastered after marriage because prior to this I did not care as much about how he lived his life. Marriage changes me in a way that I want to help him solve all the obstacles he faces and it results in me being very critical of him which will cause injury to the relationship in the long run. Therefore, by learning to accept that certain things are beyond my control and showing him support with words of encouragement, I am at peace and I save myself from heartbreak. I do not want to hurt him due to our contrasting personalities as healing is weird like what Olaf said in this clip. I still care and am not giving up on trying to help him but after utilizing this method a few times, I notice things will eventually work out for him and he seems grateful that I was supportive. It is a win for everyone!
I am a planner and if I were in his shoes, the house would have been ready before I decided to get married. At least this is the ideal situation that I had in mind but I am also well informed about his busy schedule and laid-back nature. There is always duality in everything and him being laid-back is a blessing. I don't think I can relax in the relationship if one of us isn't laid back. I am a more serious person who worries unnecessarily and he will often soothe away my worries. Ironically, I wish someday he would stop making me worried by at least listening to me. Even the feng shui master mentioned that husbands should learn to listen to their wives because women have stronger intuition. In summary, if he refuses to listen, I should step aside and watch him make all the preventable mistakes. It is painful to witness that and my mind would have the "I told you so" mantra chiming, but what can I say, some people like learning things the hard way.
The wisdom I accumulated was also because I tried taking action but it did not work. To show him that his online trading guru is full of bullshit, I invested according to whatever the "guru" proposed and I did not make any profit and incurred some losses. Despite showing him proof he still believes his guru and gave me 101 reasoning that sides with his online guru. Since then, I think inaction is better than action and my relationship with him is much happier. It was also through these experiences that I believe long distance would work well for us as whatever little time we spend together is spent in a wholesome manner with the mindset that our time together is limited. If I were to be truthful to myself, I still hope to stay together in the long run but would we be happier? Observing his way of living, he seems to function and live like a bachelor which sometimes baffles me as to why he wanted to get married. If someday he could show me sincerity in taking up the husband role, I would ensure I stay by his side physically. As of now, let me continue being a remote wife and support him from a distance.
It still melts my heart whenever he says "谢谢老婆“。 I'm glad he appreciates me.
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