I have never expected a distressed call from a colleague to be an eye-opener for me. A really horrible experience that sucked out all the good vibrations in me. I witnessed Love that has expired or transformed into anger and spite. Blogging about it will not erase the unbelievable encounter. Furthermore, it wasn't "a" distressed call, I was being bombarded by phone calls from the same person 5 times in 10 minutes despite making it clear I was working and I could not go off duty to provide assistance. I still don't understand why of all people I have to get involved.
It was a problem about a wife being uncomfortable with her husband's daily habit of texting a female colleague/ friend after going through his phone. I was forced to see the messages and I did not see any signs of flirting or abnormalities other than the daily messages which revolved around where to eat and workplace gossip. My colleague was the wife and she was clearly in desperation which affected me a lot as I find her behavior to be neurotic as she could not understand that I was not available. I was also concerned and after stalling for 1 hour, I finally asked permission to be relieved an hour early since my duties were done.
I had trouble understanding the situation as she had told me she needed me since it was 3 vs her alone and I was confused as I did not understand why matters between a couple involve so many people. It didn't take me long to learn that she had actually asked her husband to summon two of his colleagues which was a boy and a girl and the girl was the alleged "girlfriend". I really find this to be ridiculous as I do not think it is wise to have summoned the third parties including me who was a total clueless outsider who was only there as I was concerned for her after her irrational behavior towards me.
In the end, there were no resolutions and I had to endure listening to a self-proclaimed "alpha male" (yes, the husband actually said he is an alpha and a lot of other shitty things) and waste my precious time entertaining a real-life family drama where I felt was a great loss for me. If things were solved, I would have felt my presence made a difference as I thought my role was to be a neutral peacemaker. I did not take sides and have in fact told my own colleague not to go overboard when she had demanded an apology from the alleged "girlfriend". The amount of crap I had to listen to from both of them was so overwhelming that I felt like I am the one going through an ordeal.
What shook me the most was when my colleague pulled up her sleeves and I saw big angry bruises on her pale skin which was about 2 days old based on the color of the bruises. To make it worst, she admits to hitting him first on his arms which made him hit her back. First of all, it was wrong of her to get physical, and his hitting her back was equally bad. I had to stop all the back-and-forth conversation which was dominated mainly by the "alpha" male and his being really rude to me when I asked "how should I address you" he was like "You don't have to know you can just identify me as XXX husband" but funnily in the end when he was describing his mother in law's messages to him, he dropped his name and realize it and said, "oh by the way I am XXX". I was trying to be as composed as I can but seriously I just wanted to say "Hey, you are washing your dirty laundry in front of me yet calling yourself an alpha". Seriously that guy makes me see how disabled he is for being unable to regulate his emotional state.
My colleague is no better with her suicide threats and irrational mind. Oh, I am also quite horrible cause I gave her a very firm and raw piece of my mind after the husband left with his two colleagues and I had to be by her side till her poor elderly parents arrived. I felt EXTREMELY bad for the parents as they are around the 6th or 7th decade of their lives and had to travel really far just because these two immature people could not handle matters of their own household. Okay, who am I to judge right? Then don't involve me! As simple as that. I narrated the ordeal to my mom and partner and both of them gave me the same feedback "you shouldn't have said that". I just felt so exasperated with my colleague and I wanted to wake her up with my words as for her husband, I don't want to have anything to do with him as he is so aggressive and impossible!
The whole ordeal made me feel like taking a bus to run into the arms of my partner and tell him again and again how thankful I am that he regulates his emotions so well and had always done his best to speak to me in a respectful, soft-spoken manner. I cannot imagine those two who had a relationship for a decade, were legally married for four years and did a wedding ceremony just last December are now hurting each other so much that I do not think they could salvage their marriage anymore.
Damn, that guy had the nerve to correct our pronunciation when I said "salvage" and his wife for the word "archive". Whatever it is, I have never met such a despicable, horrible, egoistic, emotionally disabled person! I really hope that my colleague is disappointed with me and will never seek my help in the future because I am indeed not the right person to help her. Moreover, my final words to them were "you both have gone physical, I think it is best you seek professional help such as a marriage counsellor" where that annoying man had to mutter "seek a lawyer". One moment he says stuff like "if you ask me do I love her, I do!" or "yes, I can take one step back, 10 step back, a million step back" yet in the end his action speaks otherwsie. Maybe both of them have mental issues.
From this point onwards, I shall push this matter out of my life as it doesn't concern me. The image of her parents saying thank you to me makes my heart heavy. The dad even made a little bow which I felt was not necessary. I may appear kind, but I am not a rubbish bin for people to dump their emotions on. I also told my colleague that she should never ever trust outsiders and should have just kept all these within her family - siblings/ parents. She then naively asked me "So how now? Three of you know about it and I felt so humiliated that my husband was shouting at me in front of that girl". I reminded her that it was her own doing and arrangement that we were all there (Yes, I got reprimanded by my mom for responding in this manner).
Tomorrow will be my first lesson online with my mentor and I am only half prepared. I really hope I will be fully prepared later. No, it is not tomorrow, it is today - gosh I need to sleep. There are many good things and happenings today but I just needed to get the above out of my system. I did not ask her how she is nor follow up with her as I am afraid she will become attached to me. I think I could live with my conscience to have acted the way I did. Universe, please don't put all these unpleasant advertisements into my life.
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