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给老公的信

 今天我们吵架了,像平时我真的懒得和你吵。我说的话的确很伤你的心可是这就是我,当我觉得受伤时总会说出一些让我自己感到后悔的话,虽然我说的都是事实。 如果你愿意听,愿意站在我的立场想,我其实有很多话想和你说。 

亲爱的老公, 

今天我起床时都充满正能量, 我虽然昨晚睡不好因为喝了你买给我的抹茶饮料,我还是充满活力的说“老公我很爱很爱你哦!”。你却问我”为什么”。 当我说我很幸福你昨天没有怪我发了点小脾气,说你很包容我,说你明白我是因为很累很疼才心情那么坏,你却开始批评我。

 昨天我是五点下班,你说会来载我,我等了一个小时你都还没到而且原因是因为你在菜园里做酵素。 我觉得我们都商量好有好多家务得做,而且我们还说要去家具店买东西,可是你就是选择这个时候做酵素。 我等了很久,玩游戏也开始腻就选择自己走路到家具店。我背着手提电脑和另外拿着我另一个背包走了大约一公里的路。我很不习惯拿着那么多东西走路,我的肌肉真的很疼尤其是颈部和腰部,越走越难过。 所以我打电话给你叫你马上到家具店然后也要求你帮我背我的书包。 我知道我的口气一点都不温柔,可是我是真的很疼也很累。

结果今天你说我很常说话方式让你不舒服,我听到后就觉得一大清早真的需要以被批评的方式开始吗?我觉得有点生气,那么我就说你不懂分配时间,不懂得在对的时间做对的事等等。 后来我们俩也不说话, 我打游戏来放松,也没帮忙做家务了。 过后我们就开车到机场接我的父母。 开车时你又要和我说你的立场可是不管你说什么我都听不进因为我觉得很不被爱。 

路程中,不做了三件事让我觉得你不爱我

1) 我没有吃早餐和午餐,你不会主动买点东西给我吃。对,你有问我要不要去family mart 买点面包,可是我说不要。我只觉得若你懂我,你爱我,你不会问我这个蠢问题,你会直接买点吃的给我。

2) 你说完你的立场我说我们彼此从以前都是这样,个站在个的立场,永远没有个交叉点, 那么彼此不说话会更好。你也不说话了,也没问我我的立场。 而且你说的很多话真的是借口,还有是你说自己没有用,我没有说过你没有用我只是说你欺骗我,答应我的东西每次都没实现。

3) 我们在休息站停车,我说我要买点吃的可是我还没打完我的坦克宝贝游戏也不可能下车去买,因为我不想坑和我一起玩的人。你上了厕所回来还看到我在车上,我告诉你原因你也没有说“你要吃点什么?我去买”,你就直接开车离开休息站。我其实胃风了。 

我们今天没有牵手。 我们没有一起在车上唱歌。 我们也没有解决我们对彼此的不满。 我自己也觉得今天我有点不想爱你。越想就会想得很远,然后我又开始怀疑自己结婚是为了什么。 感觉我结婚不是一大清早被我枕边人批评吧。 反正我觉得今天你对我的态度真的很差! 我要是能让你跪榴莲就真的让你跪榴莲! 

刚才你和我说晚安,也吻了我的脸,可是我觉得我的心和你的心有个距离了。 我对你感到失望, 可是这也不是第一次吧。 尽然你的遗书里也没有我,我也打算把你的名字在我遗书里删掉,因为我总觉得你不可靠。 

所以当初你真的不该叫我嫁给你。我真的没有心里准备和你一开始就要吃那么多的苦。 就算你孝顺,就算你善良, 你却不能给我最好的(这也是你以前说过的,如果不能给我最好的,你宁愿让我和可以给我更好的人在一起。 天下乌鸦一样黑!这句话我现在想起来了,和抹茶男在电邮里写的一模一样)。

在不久的未来我会离开你,我们俩是注定不能一起住,才住了两个星期就觉得你不懂得珍惜我。 

晚安。

受委屈的老婆。


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