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Life is Fragile

"I don't want to play in your yard,
I don't love you anymore
You'll be sorry when you see me,
Swinging on your garden door." - Grandma, T.Kanagamani

Only grandmothers as sporting and as sweet as my grandma will teach their grandchildren funky nursery songs and this song will always remain in my heart forever.

I may not remember when was the last my grandma had sung that song to me but I do remember the way she sing it word by word and her expression that accompanies her singing. Why must all these be significant to me only now? Well, it is because she is unwell and is going to have a major operation tomorrow and I am scared.

Life is indeed fragile yer how many times do we ever thank the skies for our life and for the lives of those around us? Why do we spend time slandering those around us with our words and actions, hurting one another, taking our existence for granted? If we could spend time going on and on again on negative things, why can't we spend time showing our gratitude every now and then for every breath we take?

Is is ironic that even though I have watched lots of movies featuring the importance of life and also witness people losing their loved ones, I still do not know how to appreciate my life and also the lives of those around me. I could not recall the last I thank God for my life or for the lives of my loved ones. The only thing I remembered is that I often questioned God of my existence. "Why am I here? Why must life and death be linked? You are so cruel for bringing us into this planet and taking us back whenever you wish to." Yes, these are the only thoughts I often have.

Perhaps if I changed my outlook on life by being grateful instead of being spiteful of why can't life do without diseases and sufferings, it could affect the way I treat my love ones. Man becomes what he think. By being spiteful I am just being ungrateful and thus attracting all the shortcomings in my life. Similarly, by being filled with gratitude and love, life will be much of a joy ride even though in the end the ride will eventually come to a stop.

Therefore, I sincerely pray to God to give me a second chance. Please give me the chance to be a good grand-daughter, a second chance to be a better daughter and also a second chance to bring out the best of myself.

If I had focused more on worldly matters,
I would now change the focus to my loved ones.
If I had once been filled with hatred,
let me be overflowing with love.
If I had once been ungrateful with this life
let me honor this life by utilizing it to the max.
If I had ones hurt the people around me,
let me be kind by providing service to them (especially when they are in need).

God, Please protect my grandmother and please give her the strength and will power to overcome the pain and the operation that she will undergo tomorrow.

Thank you God.
Amen =)

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