Sweetie's World

Just less than a week ago on 2/3/23 there was a phenomenon in the sky where Jupiter, Moon and Venus were in conjunction. It was also the birthday of a person I used to know, a person who have hurt me in the past but it doesn't matter anymore because it is in the past. I did not associate this date to that particular person anymore but somehow this date brought me a new found sadness. After reading more into horoscopes I made a discovery and it is rather ironic.  People often say for things to work, you need the stars to be aligned as it is a symbol of luck or auspiciousness. Well, the stars did align that night although it was cloudy and I couldn't see it but I believe it is in alignment because stargazers worldwide were sharing photos of the magical scene online. I found out that my ruling planet Moon was actually in conjunction with his ruling planet Jupiter. Yes, our ruling stars were aligned that night unfortunately we were not.  It really puzzles me that my believes ar

Recently my mind is troubled and I couldn't sleep well. I am tired and I tried my best to rest but there's just so many thoughts and emotions that are still fleeting and unsettling. I tried to give myself affirmations, I purposely ran and wanted to run 11.11KM because 1111 is always reassuring for me. However my device log the run as 11.12KM and seeing it I felt defeated.  I tried to see things as a third person, as my partner, as him but it just lead me to no where. I know time heals and things will eventually be back to normal again. Or rather, things have always been normal but our experiences changes how we feel about our daily environment and for me right now my surrounding feels foreign. I thought I had adapted with the pattern interruption that took place since December and I was finaly feeling comfortable. However just like the waves in a turbulent sea, I am faced with another pattern interruption except this time I no longer know how to coax myself to be resillient.

"I like how our dynamic is" those were the words he said and I believed it with all my heart. I thought I found a friend, a piece of my soul because we were so similar in many ways. Our conversations were entertaining, ranging from sharing about personal experiences, books, medical stuff, sports, gaming tactics. I would say once we chat we seems to forget the time and we just enjoyed each other's company.       Now I am a woman and he is a man, perhaps this was the problem. I often thought we could be best of friends but somehow or rather along with the frequency of time spent together, the thin line which separates friendship from a romantic relationship seems to get blurry. I made it known that I am married and he know it was morally wrong to fall for a married person. He told me regardless, I am dear to him and he will always want the best for me and wants me to be happy. I think it was very thoughtful of him and I was hoping he could find The One for him as I want to