Skip to main content

Tears are precious

 Yesterday while playing 3 chance world boss, I noticed Icy was online playing too. I couldn't help notice as he was just below my rank after I completed world boss. I no longer feel the sense of heartache I used to feel, instead I find myself silly to have shed so much of tears and feel so much of pain previously. He was not worth it as he himself admit that he was bad on purpose as he was hurt before and would not want to get hurt anymore. I do not wish to become a collateral damage to other people's irresponsible management of their own emotions. However I realize I used too much of heart in my encounter with people in general. It is true I am a fickle character as I do dislike humans in general yet when I interact with one I will give my best and my heart goes along with it. 

Anyway since the encounter with Icy, I am very careful with how I interact with others be it in real life or in the game. Even so my fragile heart is shattered a little when Bubbles (the teacher I look up so much) doesn't seem to want to play with me anymore. He is forever tagging others in the group but never tagged me, which made me feel a little left out. I felt sad when one of the newcomers who evolved so much  that he favors him more than me. I know I have to be realistic and the only way I can play with Bubbles again is to make myself better in the game. I need to learn the art of war and upgrade my tanks, avatars, and pets. I am a little disappointed with myself for holding Bubbles so high up the pedestal. 

I am still waiting to have a chance to play with alluring Yunin and I wish we can win 3 matches consecutively. Since last month, after the 3 consecutive losses, we haven't gotten a chance to play together. I like befriending him and I like that he have a beautiful heart, at least that's how he portrays himself. I wish we really could play together this month and I promise myself no more putting too much of heart in human interactions cause my tears are precious! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Singapore

Continuation from yesterday’s post.  I finally ate the ice cream which is sandwiched between two wafers that I saw before and it was yummy because there’s like a huge block of ice cream and the wafer was thin. I chose peppermint chocolate and raspberry swirl. It was really fun to eat that on the helical bridge that totally looks like a DNA strand. I really love this region and it was also the same place where the fun run was held. So I got to go across the helical bridge twice. I am also very happy to finally seen the Merlion and since it was early in the morning during the fun run, the place was rather quiet and there were not many crowds. I wanted to properly run the fun run but I end up walking most of the time just enjoying the scene and talking to people since it was supposed to be a networking event. Delegates from 142 countries were there but I only manage to make friends from Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Germany and New Zealand. It was quite hard to make ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Out of the blue

 I remembered I used to cry a lot about Icy, and I was very confused with my own actions and emotions. During that period, I needed someone to talk to, and I did not want to talk to anyone who knew me in real life so I just spoke to someone random in-game. He joined the clan and I used to want people to be active and donate clan points and make a lot of reminders for members to play world boss. It was also during that time that I cleared out some members to make way for new ones. I may have recall bias as I had a lot of sadness in me back then and when I am sad I cannot recall things properly. I just remember the guy was from Brazil and when he heard of my story he was mad at me as he said I was unfaithful to my husband and he left the clan and deleted me as friend. I was rather shocked with his response and at that time I was also sad as I realize no one will ever be compassionate enough to understand my feelings.  Anyway that was more than 1 year plus ago. I think I stopped ...
Post a Comment
Read more

忙或困是最好的解药

 我想人类是需要足够的睡眠， 过于操劳能让一个人所有的情绪给封闭起来，脑子里只想让自己“关机”。今天刚巧是个很忙的一天，忙得我真的没时间去思念任何人，也没时间胡思乱想。我记得我曾经说过为了避免自己难过，我若是隔天要离开情人/亲人，我刻意让自己睡眠不足。当我觉得我很困的时候，我就没机会伤心了，这个生活窍门我用了很多次也从未失败过。  我不能说我完全没有想他，因为今天工作所遇到的事我都很想和他分享。由于很忙这个想法只是瞬间经过我的大脑然后很快的又消失了。我可算是个认真的人，工作时我都不分心所以我真的想他了，要不然他是不会出现在我脑海里。其实我今天有和我老公说我想他了可是他没有回答我给他的简讯。1256，1637， 2327 这些是我发了简讯的时间可是一个答复都没有。想一想我真的是个孤单的人。虽然我很爱独处，但是我也喜欢有个和我三观一致的人和我分享生活。 我现在只希望今晚有机会睡觉因为昨晚我0200就醒来了。我没想他了，我只渴望睡觉。其实还有很多话想说但是我真的很困了。
Post a Comment
Read more