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Lost Moments are Not Retrievable

I feel exceptionally sad right now. It is my last day in Bangkok, Thailand and it was suppose to be my first overseas family trip. I did not put high expectations for my vacation, despite that I am truly dissappointed and regret the outcome of the trip.
I spent a total 6 days in Bangkok, doing merely window shopping at urban shopping malls such as Icon Siam, Platinum, Siam Paragon, Siam Discovery, MBK and not much of sight seeing. I have only been to Wat Arun, Maekong train station, floating market and about 3 night markets. In the end of the day I highly doubt if the 6 day trip was worth it at all.

The most painful part of the trip was being with people who are dear to me yet I could not find peace in my daily interaction with them. As I grow older I find it really tough to communicate with my parents. Sometimes I doubt if all those obsession my father has with mantras, amulets, replica of deities and Buddhas are beneficial. My doubt arise as it is so difficult for me to live in peace with him. Throughout my journey in Bangkok, our relationship is tense. I wish I did not make this trip as it only created more heartache and resentment.

I felt devastated thinking of all the "what ifs" and "what could have been". The only way to relieve myself is by writting my thoughts out and pray in the future I can rewrite my Bangkok memories with someone who share the same passion with me and could get along with me well.

The next I visit, I am definitely seeing the grand palace with the emerald Buddha, Erawan museum and will explore historical places such as the victory monument and clock tower. I will try to cheer up. I have to Cheer Up!

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