I remembered I used to cry a lot about Icy, and I was very confused with my own actions and emotions. During that period, I needed someone to talk to, and I did not want to talk to anyone who knew me in real life so I just spoke to someone random in-game. He joined the clan and I used to want people to be active and donate clan points and make a lot of reminders for members to play world boss. It was also during that time that I cleared out some members to make way for new ones. I may have recall bias as I had a lot of sadness in me back then and when I am sad I cannot recall things properly. I just remember the guy was from Brazil and when he heard of my story he was mad at me as he said I was unfaithful to my husband and he left the clan and deleted me as friend. I was rather shocked with his response and at that time I was also sad as I realize no one will ever be compassionate enough to understand my feelings.
Anyway that was more than 1 year plus ago. I think I stopped corresponding with Icy since 20/1/2024 and so its been more than a year. Just a few days ago I was playing royal survival mode and I met a person with a familiar nickname but somehow I cannot really recall why the nickname is familiar. Moreover instead of Brazil flag it was Japan flag and somehow the person seems to want to help me win in game and showed a lot of expressions which are friendly emojis. Shortly after the game I received a friendship request. It is kind of creepy how things are inevitable as my friend list was full a few days ago and I decided to do some cleaning up of inactive players which opens up 2 slots for new friend requests. So eventually this person said hi to me and I tried to communicate in simple English assuming the person is from Japan and doesn't speak fluent English (okay I am making so much assumptions). Eventually I found out that it was the person who was mad at me, it was the Brazil guy!
I find him to be a bit of an emotional person to have such a response towards a stranger's story and he sort of told me he felt sad deleting me. Actually, we only talked twice so that feels rather peculiar to me. Another thought that came to my mind is that is it so easy to meet back the same people in the game that I do wonder if the game is dying? I would be really sad if it shuts down but then again I haven't spend any money on it and the most horrible part was donating gems to the clan just to re-enter and having a guild master that does not communicate with me. I do want to join a new clan to be with my friends from Wechat but at the same time I like having a submaster role.
Okay back to my online stranger, it feels heartwarming to know there are still good people out there who stand for what is ethically/morally right and despite being angry at me decided to come back to say hello. If I want to look at the darker side of things, it also meant that at this era it is hard to totally cut off someone from your life? I have disabled social media and just communicate with most gamers or in Wechat group where it is a group chat with 250+ people. I am also careful not to disclose my photos or my personal life to any of the gamers. There's really 2 sides to everything and the dark side do concern me a lot. Just like writing my blog, will it implicate my life in real someday? Should I stop writing again even if I am "anonymous", my secondary school friends and Icy knows who is behind this blog. Gosh, it does feel creepy to think about it.
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