Have you ever watch porn? I think at some point of our lives we may have stumbled upon porn intentionally or unintentionally. I recalled when the internet was fairly new at my remote hometown, me and my brother both went to an internet cafe to surf the web where we accidentally went into an adult website. How did it happen? Well we wanted to go into Hotmail but instead of typing hotmail my brother had accidentally typed “hotmale” and the next moment the screen was filled with pictures of naked men and I freaked out and immediately click the close button and told my brother we will get into trouble for that. My brother was also in a state of shock and I did not let him touch the keyboard for the rest of the hour we were there. That was also a good example of why minors should not be allowed to surf the net without parental supervision. I think these days it is much easier as there are more options to ensure safety such as adding filters and having “kid mode”. Back then I am not sure why did I need to go online. I just remembered feeling very tech savvy when I own email addresses and have created 3 email addresses which includes hotmail, yahoo mail and a Garfield mail. I also recalled playing a game called neopets back then and eventually learned how to use MRIC to chat with strangers. The world back then had less evil or I was just lucky that I did not encounter any predators or weird people. The only potential pervert I met did not chat anything inappropriate with me knowing I am a minor under 18 and I did not know his nick name had a suggestive meaning to it until I was sharing my online chats with my cousin. My cousin was horrified and immediately asked me to stop communicating with that person when she heard his nick name was “Snake_Lumpha”. Apparently the second word refers to the male reproductive organ in the Hokkien dialect. It is also for this reason every time I watch Charlie and the Chocolate factory with the oompa-loompa, I can’t help but associate the word “loompa” to - I think you get what I mean.
Anyway today I would like to express my dislike towards porn and how detrimental it can be. I used to think that it is okay to watch porn as it is a form of adult entertainment and it could be an audio visual aid to masturbation. I also think that there is nothing wrong with masturbation as it can help those without a partner fulfil their sexual needs in a responsible and reasonable manner. However most religion that I know of prohibit masturbation and porn and there is a valid reason and wisdom of such teachings. First of all we should acknowledge that we are all born with an instinct to mate and reproduce just like all the other animals in the animal kingdom and it is greatly influenced by hormones. No one had to teach our ancestors on how to reproduce and they somehow figured it out which leads to the continuity of mankind. As humans, we are distinct than other animals in that we have the ability to think and have a level of awareness that enables us to consciously make sex as a choice and not just a primordial act. Therefore any lack of control on our thoughts or actions on sexually related matters will only bring harm to self and on some occasions even to others.
So far these are the downside of porn that I found:
- waste of time
Just Google “how long do people waste time on porn?”. You will find that many people are quite insightful and needs help to reduce their exposure to porn but are clueless on how to curb their bad habits. Watching porn does not make you a better person, so why spend time on things that are of no value? I am also glad to see there’s an article on “50 good reasons to stop watching porn”.
- Unrealistic
Just like a lot of dramas that are unrealistic, so is adult entertainment. It does not represents the real experience and are mostly made to fulfil fantasies.
- Exploits both women and men
I have read article on how ex porn star felt about their career and some revealed that they usually do drugs to numb themselves and sometimes they have a safe word but they don’t get the chance to even utter their safe word as they are being choked or gagged etc. Most of them also do not lasts long in the industry especially as they age and more new people replace them. Some were also reported to have been forced into the porn industry. I am not making this up, there are news about such stuff. Don’t you feel bad to contribute to the “demand” if you keep watching porn? Supply will only be there if there’s demand.
- Unsafe sexual practices
Porn doesn’t teach safe practices and the consequences of unsafe sex. I do agree it is not their responsibility to educate on safe sex but due to their accessibility, some people with no prior sexual education will get wrong information and think it is okay to imitate what they watch. Actually there is a study conducted in United States of America by Rothman E.F et al on the prevalence of using porn as a source of information.
- Harms masculinity
It is proven that porn is bad for men and there are loads of explanations online with proper evidence to back up this theory. Too bad I could not trace back a Twitter thread I read years ago on how porn is sort of a war against men. It was a piece beautifully written with some historical references.
- Source of violence
Some genre with deviant practices may sprout violence especially those that degrades women or men or those with any elements of bully or non consent.
- Normalise deviant behaviour
Do you know that acts such as fellatio or anal sex are considered an offence and punishable by law? It falls under 377A of the penal code but seems like the neighbouring country decriminalise fellatio and anal sex in 2007. Yet if it is true that the law still applies to the land I live in, I do wonder why are flavoured condoms being sold in this country and not banned? I mean anything flavoured are meant to be tasted right?
- Jeopardise relationship
Due to the unrealistic expectations that results from viewing porn, one is bound to get real disappointed with the real thing. Or one may expect their partner to behave like a porn star or have a body of a porn star and make comparison between what they watch and what they experience which may harm the relationship.
I will need to go through the article on 50 reasons to stop watching porn for more reasons but at least the above reasons are more than sufficient to convince myself that porn should be banned. I was also shocked to learn that at some developed country, young people as young as 11 years old have already start watching porn. That was the age where I was collecting Pokémon cards and had no idea about sex. At most my parents have taught us not to let anyone touch us inappropriately and to report to them immediately if such incident takes place and not to have any engagement with strangers.
So what about masturbation? Well masturbation if done in moderation should be harmless I suppose? Then again I don’t know what is the definition of moderation but at least is shouldn’t interfere with a person’s duties or responsibilities in life. I remembered in one episode of American Pie, one of the scene was about not going out with a “loaded gun” where the actor was encouraged to masturbate before going out on a date so that he doesn’t get horny. I find that advice to be quite interesting and sort of logical. Moreover there are a lot of benefits to masturbation such as releasing endorphins and reducing stress, so when it comes to masturbation I think moderation is the key.
So why do some religion prohibits it? I think it is to ensure a heightened sense of sexual gratification when you finally experience sex for the first time with your partner. Feeling sexually contented in a romantic long term relationship can help maintain and strengthen the bond between couples. So indirectly abstinence prior meeting the right one can bring a lot of pleasure and contentment later on. Then again these days there seem to be more and more people being concern of sexual compatibility and prefers to engage in premarital sex so as to not regret ending up with someone who is not compatible in bed. Despite so, there seems to be more relationship failures now a days compared to our parents or grandparents era. From a spiritual point of view the more sexual partners you have the more complicated your energy becomes as there will be formation of unhealthy soul ties.
Regardless what your believes are, I hope that you make the right choices in life and if possible contribute your part in the efforts to end pornography.
Comments