Skip to main content

Slipped

 I badly wanted to be the best because during the written my lecturer told me I was the best for my batch and so I thought I just need to perform for my viva but unfortunately today's performance was bad. I thank God for letting me enter the first room with the kinder examiners which played an important role in helping me move through the questions. I would say I performed well and probably achieved excellent level in at least 2 our of 4 of the questions in room 1. Sadly room 2 the questions were harder and one of the examiner was not very kind and mislead me when she was trying to give hints. The worst part about it was that it was the first question so the subsequent questions to come my confidence is shattered. I really would love to kick myself right now for failing to stay composed and became flustered costing me my performance.

I still believe I am able to pass the exams but I do feel slightly disheartened that I let a good chance of becoming a good student slip by. Anyway there is only 1 award for 1 person out of the whole batch and I know even if I did not get it, passing the exam itself is good enough. Secretly I would love the award to show it to my mom since I failed to get the gold medalist award during my under graduation. I think mom feels good when I perform and the days I performed well only lasted till secondary school, thereafter I am an averaged student. I personally did not aim for the award but since the information I was top in class was disclosed to me, I started to want to aim for it. 

I need to discard this bad feeling I have right now. Once I graduate I am definitely going to go fix my EQ. I find myself to be pathetic to have such poor control on my emotions. I dwell on this for the last 4 hours and I think that is enough! Now I just need to focus on my medical viva and pray I can score a good mark for it and compensate for today's performance. Sigh... 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Singapore

Continuation from yesterday’s post.  I finally ate the ice cream which is sandwiched between two wafers that I saw before and it was yummy because there’s like a huge block of ice cream and the wafer was thin. I chose peppermint chocolate and raspberry swirl. It was really fun to eat that on the helical bridge that totally looks like a DNA strand. I really love this region and it was also the same place where the fun run was held. So I got to go across the helical bridge twice. I am also very happy to finally seen the Merlion and since it was early in the morning during the fun run, the place was rather quiet and there were not many crowds. I wanted to properly run the fun run but I end up walking most of the time just enjoying the scene and talking to people since it was supposed to be a networking event. Delegates from 142 countries were there but I only manage to make friends from Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Germany and New Zealand. It was quite hard to make ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Out of the blue

 I remembered I used to cry a lot about Icy, and I was very confused with my own actions and emotions. During that period, I needed someone to talk to, and I did not want to talk to anyone who knew me in real life so I just spoke to someone random in-game. He joined the clan and I used to want people to be active and donate clan points and make a lot of reminders for members to play world boss. It was also during that time that I cleared out some members to make way for new ones. I may have recall bias as I had a lot of sadness in me back then and when I am sad I cannot recall things properly. I just remember the guy was from Brazil and when he heard of my story he was mad at me as he said I was unfaithful to my husband and he left the clan and deleted me as friend. I was rather shocked with his response and at that time I was also sad as I realize no one will ever be compassionate enough to understand my feelings.  Anyway that was more than 1 year plus ago. I think I stopped ...
Post a Comment
Read more

忙或困是最好的解药

 我想人类是需要足够的睡眠， 过于操劳能让一个人所有的情绪给封闭起来，脑子里只想让自己“关机”。今天刚巧是个很忙的一天，忙得我真的没时间去思念任何人，也没时间胡思乱想。我记得我曾经说过为了避免自己难过，我若是隔天要离开情人/亲人，我刻意让自己睡眠不足。当我觉得我很困的时候，我就没机会伤心了，这个生活窍门我用了很多次也从未失败过。  我不能说我完全没有想他，因为今天工作所遇到的事我都很想和他分享。由于很忙这个想法只是瞬间经过我的大脑然后很快的又消失了。我可算是个认真的人，工作时我都不分心所以我真的想他了，要不然他是不会出现在我脑海里。其实我今天有和我老公说我想他了可是他没有回答我给他的简讯。1256，1637， 2327 这些是我发了简讯的时间可是一个答复都没有。想一想我真的是个孤单的人。虽然我很爱独处，但是我也喜欢有个和我三观一致的人和我分享生活。 我现在只希望今晚有机会睡觉因为昨晚我0200就醒来了。我没想他了，我只渴望睡觉。其实还有很多话想说但是我真的很困了。
Post a Comment
Read more