This is a delayed entry. What I am going to narrate took place yesterday.
I was at my worst attitude when I went to eat durians with my parents, mother in law and husband as I kept playing with my phone replying messages on WeChat and fighting world boss on GBM trying to stay within the top 10. Sadly I was at the 11th place and could not obtain the 5.5 green gemstone. Anyway my husband did sounded me for my attitude and I got into a defensive mode. In the end I know I was wrong and admitted my mistakes but I could not get back that moment I lost with them. I decided to make a vow to keep my phone away whenever I am with family, more so when my mom broke a horrible news to me.
I was complaining to her on how my dad seems to be so overly protective toward me and not giving me the confidence I need when I am driving. My mom then asked if I noticed any changes with my dad but her tone was serious and I said I think he is being irrational and I’m annoyed he kept asking me to slow down especially at corners and slopes. She then said she want to tell me something but not sure how will I take in the news and she asked me to promise not to be upset or blame any of them. My heart sank as the way she was saying things I thought my dad is having some kind of illness and I prepared for the worst.
3 weeks ago they travelled down from our hometown to my brother’s place for a visit and also to babysit the pets while my brother and sister in law will be having a mini break at Korea. During the journey, at a speed of about 90kilometers/hour, my dad’s double cabin Hilux suddenly swerved and spun out of control. It was as if the road became slippery just like people driving on ice. My mom held on to the handlebar and was screaming in terror as airbags popped out and the windshield shattered. The bracelets my dad wore broke, his amulet that is protecting the car was beheaded (and the head was not found) and another monk statue fell off. My mom remembered that my dad managed to put his arm across her to prevent her from being thrown forward and kept asking if she was hurt as she was inconsolable. However my dad lost his mind and he drove back to our hometown with the half intact car which was really risky and wrong.
Other than a small 1x0.5 cut at dad’s hand and a musculoskeletal injury to my mom’s cervical spine (she had problem turning her head and had neck pain), they did not require further medical treatment and are intact and alive. Many of their friends who saw the state of the car said that it was a miracle that the injuries were mild given the impact. Mom said she usually prayed before every journey but on that journey when she was about to pray my dad had switched on the music and she kept her rosary away. I know that my mom prays a lot and maybe due to difference in religion, my dad gets a little annoyed with her “over” praying but after this incident I hope he can learn that there’s no such thing as “over” praying. The whole situation could have been worst.
I really felt like crying when I know I almost lost them but seeing how alive they were and that the incident was 3 weeks ago, I just kept saying thank you in my heart to the universe and to God. It really could have been worst if God decided to take them away (I’m really not ready) or if they had very bad injuries or became crippled. In another situation, if there was other vehicles on the road and if they had cause the death or injuries of another person/ people. They might have to go to court, face lawsuit, fines or imprisonment. I just felt there could be so many things that could have gone really really wrong but with God’s Grace, none of those terrible things happened. Although my dad is suffering from very bad post traumatic stress disorder, I know he will heal with time. As for my mom, I can only say she is such a resilient and strong wife as my dad warned her not to tell me about this as he did not want me to worry.
I am really amazed by how all my family members were able to keep this a secret from me for 3 weeks. Initially their reasoning was because I was still having exam then after that it was because I might be stress about my placement result. Basically my mother in law was the first to know, followed by my brother, my aunty who was in peninsular and my uncle in the United States. Even my husband got to know about it but not me. I am just mind-blown that all of them kept this information away from me and my mom was feeling guilty about it. I did not blame anyone and in fact salute that they could really keep secrets it’s just that I hope my dad knows that I am an adult who can accept listening to bad news. He loved me so much that he still wants to protect me from all harshness in life and I often get teased by my husband that he thinks I’m like a fragile plant growing in a glasshouse where everything is within a controlled condition. That is why I always say, no one can love me more than how my parents love me especially my dad. I know he love my brother equally but the treatment is a little different, he will not shun my brother from negative information but he will go all out to tell me a while lie as long as he could keep me worry-free.
All these years my dad went all out to give me a perfect life and when I grow up I spend countless times worrying about other people. It made me feel that other than my parents, I shouldn’t be spending time worrying about others because it is just not worth it. Papa want me to be a happy girl all my life and I will make sure that I am always happy. Today as I held both of my parents’ hands, I feel that I am the luckiest daughter on earth to have all their love and attention. We still do not understand how did the accident happened but my husband hypothesise that there probably was an oil spill on the road causing it to be slippery. Whatever are the reasons, I hope all road users can be extra cautious while using the road. Seeing the news of a young Singaporean girl losing her life from a motorcycle crash driven by her boyfriend was just disheartening.
So as I go to bed tonight, I promise myself 3 things:
1) not to speed when I drive
2) not to have my phone out when with family
3) to be more observant and non judgemental (my heart goes all out to my dad now knowing that he has PTSD and that is why he kept commenting on my driving)
Good night. God bless.
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