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1119

 我记得 今天就是你的生日 我好想在0000时祝你生日快乐但同时也觉得我们没那么亲密 如果这样祝福你 恐怕你觉得我贴你太近了。 今晚我尽然和你说不该说的话题 也是我之前和三说过的因为我想三已婚能给我一些意见。 

我困了明天继续写。 我还想着三 可是每次想到他感觉心不舒服 有种失去的感觉。 

(明天再写 因为好想知道老师会不会喜欢我准备的小红包)

昨天我太困了所以没上来写布洛克。我起床就在 6:39分祝老师生日快乐,然后照着 AI 建议的数目和祝福语发了个小红包。老师说不敢领怕数目很大,我和他说别担心我问好了AI然后数目我已经调小很多。其实好想给个168,但是尽然那天微信读书的一年会员卡都被拒绝了那么AI建议我不要再发这个数目,会让他有心理负担。他觉得红包还是大了,说下次可以发16.80。反正我就是很开心他有把我的小小心意收下来。接下来一整天不懂他怎么过,游戏里看到他就提醒他看广告领免费道具。我好想一起聊天但是也害怕我一直找他等下会影响我们的良好关系。

洗完澡尽然看他给我看他吃的晚饭还说了 “XX同学来吃饭咯”。看到了他的简讯我感到开心,我们也聊了一个小时然后他就去洗碗了。他好幽默,说“贫僧得去洗碗了, 施主请自行休息【旺财】”, 我看了都笑起来了。 世界真的是因为有像老师的人才变得那么美好,我希望生活能好好善待他。

睡觉前我发了个流星雨视频,原来狮子座流行就在他生日前一晚出现。我发流星雨是让他许愿因为他也没吃蛋糕吹蜡烛的习惯也没有吃寿面或染红的鸡蛋。然后我们就说晚安了。我觉得他过生日可是我比他还要兴奋。幸好晚上还能睡得挺好的,完全没醒来过。

昨晚我也和他学习了这句话 “似一物即不中”,因为我和他说我也喜欢深度聊天只是可能我们有一点语言障碍,我有时表达得不好。这个句子是佛家的话,也就是说“一旦执着于某个概念或形态,就无法领悟事物的真谛,因为它已经偏离了本来的清净”。老师就觉得有时我们表达不出来自己想说的是正常事。我好想让自己能用中文好好表达自己,好想可以和老师有深度聊天。

不懂下次聊天是什么时候但是我好期待。

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