Skip to main content

Impossible

I am really at peace with many things and the resultant effect is that I no longer feel sad about the past when I think about it. I have always respected everyone's privacy and although I would never keep any photos from the past or any photos that were shared between us, my mind's memory stores them well. I would not call it jealousy but somehow images with body contact (with another person) made me feel easier to let go because it was a reminder that I could never share similar proximity with you (it is wrong anyway). The times I was missing you and thinking of you and did not hear from you, you were spending it in the embrace of another person. This thought that I formulated myself made it simpler for me to let go. You did rationalize it was because I blocked you but I left certain ways for you to reach me but you did not attempt to do so and I realize you are not going to try. Discord was the only place where I never blocked you but deleted you as a contact. I wish I had seen more images that were intimate so that I could have let go earlier. Then again letting go is a process, there's no way to speed it up or shorten it. I think the images helped but in reality, I think it is because I figured out things in a rational manner. 


I am comfortable being your friend now and I like it the way it is, us being just friends, clan mates, and maybe people who exchange knowledge and ideas. It was just the way I wanted the relationship to be. I finished reading another storybook called "Girl Online on Tour" by Zoe Sugg and the kind of friendship that the main character Penny had with Elliot was the kind of friendship I thought we could have. However, that is no longer possible now because my husband will never be able to accept you as my best friend. So yeah, all we could be is just online friends. What I am trying to say is, that even though I will be paying a visit to your wonderful country, I do not want to meet you because meeting up is equivalent to disrespecting my partner. I did put myself in his shoes if he had a female friend who was intimate in their interaction before and that interaction feels more like a romantic relationship, I do not think I would be at peace if they met up overseas where I would not be able to know what they might talk about or do. 


I appreciate that you would go the extra mile to be that good friend who wouldn't mind being short-changed because you know me well and want to play "host" when I visit. If we could have erased just a few of our actions, I would open up to the idea of meeting but we can't erase what was done and it becomes a historical fact. I asked my partner what if I met you and just made good use of you during my travels there? (I had to ask in this manner laced with ill intentions so that I could ask him this question about meeting). He told me that I do not need to do that because it is not me and he said that there will be bad karma for doing such things. Other than that he also thinks that I do not need to use anyone and I could rely on myself. He added that I would regret it if I were to meet you. I am not sure what that means as it could mean a lot of things and I dropped the conversation as I could see he was getting rather annoyed. I think I have hurt people enough for the past year when it comes to matters of the heart, therefore I would like to highlight one more time that it is IMPOSSIBLE for us ever to meet. So, you can stop your efforts of trying to ask me about my itinerary because I am not telling and I want to stay out of trouble. 


In the past I was afraid of myself and couldn't trust myself about how I would feel if we met, now, I feel confident that I could handle it well and I believe I will not do anything out of boundaries. I did imagine it in my head, I probably would wave at you and we would not even shake hands because that feels too formal. We will not hug because that feels odd as Asians and I guess I would go "Yo man/or your name/ or your game name, finally, I am seeing you in real! How are things going? want to play a match on our phones right now?"  Yeah, I think this is how it would go and probably at most we would high-five each other for the wins. I think the venue would be some hawker stall or kopitiam where it feels more natural and with busy surroundings because we do not need any privacy or get cozy. Yes, this is how I had it pictured in my head. In the past, I would have wanted us to meet at the seaside that you showed me before and take a walk (maybe build a sandcastle?) or go jogging together at the park, but I think all these are only for best friends and we lost that opportunity to be best friends. 


Okay enough about us. About the storybook I read, I felt like I could connect with the main character Penny well. I searched online only to realize it is a trilogy and the one I read was the second book! No wonder I had a lot of questions about how she met her Rock-God boyfriend and where she got her anxiety from. Again this is a book I picked up from the book-sharing stand and I do not see the other two books. I guess I will have to get it in PDF form online and read them. I feel transported to another dimension whenever I read storybooks and it releases a lot of dopamine in me (Equivalent to gaming on GBM!) and it is very addictive. 

Some things I learned from friends today are: 

1) get a passport organizer - this was a response to my nightmare where I did not bring my passport to the airport and my entire vacation was ruined 

2) There is this thing called Cirrus behind my debit card and this Cirrus (sounds like "serious") stuff would enable me to withdraw cash in the local currency when I travel abroad. I am so glad to learn this piece of information. I am super scared of lacking finances if I am abroad and I want to ensure everything I have on me can function well. Going to an advanced nation I guess things are on time and fast-paced and I do not want scenarios where I cannot scan my card to go on public transport. That would cause a delay and inconvenience to everyone. 

I need to buck up, today's self-study single best answer score is 18/30, and I think I could do better tomorrow! I also need to rehearse for my upcoming important presentation! 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Singapore

Continuation from yesterday’s post.  I finally ate the ice cream which is sandwiched between two wafers that I saw before and it was yummy because there’s like a huge block of ice cream and the wafer was thin. I chose peppermint chocolate and raspberry swirl. It was really fun to eat that on the helical bridge that totally looks like a DNA strand. I really love this region and it was also the same place where the fun run was held. So I got to go across the helical bridge twice. I am also very happy to finally seen the Merlion and since it was early in the morning during the fun run, the place was rather quiet and there were not many crowds. I wanted to properly run the fun run but I end up walking most of the time just enjoying the scene and talking to people since it was supposed to be a networking event. Delegates from 142 countries were there but I only manage to make friends from Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, Indonesia, Germany and New Zealand. It was quite hard to make more

往前看

 “如果没有方向,往哪里走都是前方” 现在的我好像在浓雾中寻找出路。 我觉得我并没有执着, 我只是觉得有时候好像还在梦境里。我依然想念着一些过去。好好的问自己到底想的是什么。 我可以问心无愧的说我想的并不是爱情,而是友谊。 我一直在折磨自己,觉得自己好像一直在犯错因为心里还是有他。 闺蜜都说我必须斩草除根把他忘得一干二净因为他只是个过客。 可是这并不是我对待一份感情的方式。由于自己的确在爱情世界里出轨了,所以觉得自己是个贱女人。 我觉得我需要把这个想法改掉,给自己个改过自新的机会, 不要再给自己贴上负面标签。仔细的想,我怀念的是一起用Discord玩游戏, 听听他分享他如何对待他的学生(他的分享是很有趣, 当他成功突破一些难搞的学生我会替他感到开心), 突然得到他的一个来电(我是一个喜欢聊天的人,自然会感到很开心有人愿意花时间和我聊天),我难过时他懂得安慰我, 陪我看戏(真的没想过一起上网看戏时间好玩的事)。这一切其实我的丈夫也能为我做, 除了玩游戏和看戏因为我丈夫完全不喜欢玩游戏,也没时间陪我看戏,天天都过着时间不够用的日子。自从他不在我生活里出现了,我觉得就少了一点我每天都能期待的事。这些期待也许是新鲜感,同时也是因为我们有太多相似的想法, 聊起来就好像找到知音。就算不能每天联络 (每天和异性联络对于一个有夫之妇也不对吧就算没有暧昧),只需要知道他还是我的朋友,我们还是能偶尔沟通,我会好受多了。  可是亲爱的,要成长就必须愿意尝一尝一些难受的滋味因为这是成长的代价。我是一个吃不了苦的人, 习惯在温室里成长,一直都依赖着我生命里可靠的家人,爱人,知音来呵护我。我不知不觉也连累了很多人来帮我克服自己心里的障碍。 知音忙了一整天值班然后到了咖啡馆想休息放松心情,却得花半个小时在电话里听我哭个痛快 (这是第一次默默的离开他的时候)。 弟弟也花了很长的时间开导我,因为弟弟比我结婚更久我觉得他能帮我解开心里的结。父母对我感到失望,但还接受我爱着我,没有放弃我。丈夫更不用说了,被伤的人是他可是还必须理智的面对一个被自己的感觉蒙蔽了思考能力的我。 他不是圣人,我觉得迟早他那颗纯洁善良的心也会被我伤透。我当然不要继续下去连累我身边重要的人,更不要他们瞧不起我,这么大的一个人了还不能自己解决一些芝麻绿豆的事。之前觉得他们对我的呵护然我有点窒息的感觉是因为我一直给他们的印象是一个无法

Divorce

“When two people decides to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one other, but a sign that they have, at least, begun to.” - Helen Rowland People always say marriage is a lot of hard work and it isn’t easy yet many of us still decide to get married. I never knew how heavy the responsibility is to have a ring placed on my ring finger and how much it changes me as a person. I was afraid of getting married because I was afraid of the possibility of having a divorce. I often thought that as long as I do not get married, there will never be a possibility for a divorce. The reason I am afraid of divorce stems from my personal believes that a woman’s capability is measured by how well she can manage her household. Perhaps it is very traditional and old fashioned but I do think that there’s a reason why Mother Nature is called “mother” instead of “father” because women play a better role in nurturing, giving and caring. Women rely more on their emotions and intuition an