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想你的时候

我知道可能你还在看我的部落格 (虽然我说了你别再看了),因为我也无数次偷偷的点击你的档案, 看看是否有什么新的故事或状态。 我知道我不该再看了,可是有时真的会想起你。 不知你几时改了网名也不知几时改了状态可是我有察觉白色的心🤍和接下来的黄色的心💛 希望那些心是因为你很开心,很自在。 我尽量不看有关你的事,之前在面书还能看找到你,过后再也找不到,所以我也停止寻找了。 


我不希望你看我写的东西因为我不想我写的东西影响你。 我知道你是一个很敏感的男生, 而且很多时候都会想太多。 如果我能影响我身边的人,我都是希望能带来好的影响。我从来不把我的部落格给身边的人看因为我不要他们担心我。 很久以前我会找人聊心事可是那个人(也是一个长辈来的)却把我的心事说给我母亲听,导致了我妈很害怕又担心。 那时的我还是一个很嫩又情绪化的少女,所以我想那位长辈也不懂要如何处理我所和他发泄的情绪导致他去向我妈报告。经过那件事, 我再也不相信任何长辈也很生气因为他的一个举动让我妈妈担心了。你自己也说了我是个矛盾的人, 一时夸我丈夫,一时对他不满。 其实那时候你给我的批评让我感觉你真的不懂我。 


我是一个不会轻易放弃的人, 在感情的世界里没有很多经验, 但是不管是家人或朋友我还是会用心的对待。我重来不和丈夫说我要离婚因为我知道这种事不能随意的说。 可是有些时候,当我很失落,当我努力的去沟通可是他还是不能站在我立场去了解我的出发点, 我真的很想放弃。我只是想而已,但我知道当我还是带着很多情绪的时候,所有的思考能力都变差,要是做了任何决定肯定会后悔。 我想我们一起也经历了我非常生气的时候, 可是因为你能读我的部落格就导致了事情变得更严重。如果你让我自己发泄,你就不会受到任何的影响,你也不需要消耗任何的时间或精力去想我写的是什么意思。 


我从来不喜欢玩弄任何人的心也不懂要如何玩弄别人的心。 我想自由的写我想写的东西, 不管我自己有没有放下,这是我自己一个人得面对的事。 我们也好好的说再见了,所以像最初的再见, 我们答应彼此要活得优秀,快乐。 我不懂你能记得吗?因为好多事你好像给忘了,我们什么时候认识你也不记得了。不记得也是好,只要彼此过得好,什么都不重要了。 我们俩都是一直追求完美,也相信宁愿单身都不要和不合适的人在一起。 我的另一半所为我做的,我觉得一般的男人都做不到,他的确有很多优点可是他不完美,我也一样不完美,也有种种的缺点。 爱,是一种选择,我们常听的选择你爱的,爱你所选的 所以做对选择是很重要!我希望你不会因为你所经历的而不再相信爱情。终有一天,我也想要你能够好好爱你选的女人(或男人)。 


嘻嘻,爱男人的是开完笑啦,我知道你不会喜欢上男人。 


晚安

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