Tonight I managed to play a single game with the teacher! After trying to pair so many times, we only met once, unlike yesterday, when we met twice. Too bad it is so random! I keep waiting to see his display picture every time I wait patiently to be matched into the same game. Anyway, yesterday I only managed to help him win 1 out of the 2 games. Today I'm glad that despite only 1 game, I managed to help him win. He later told me that my act was so fake that his face turned red. I told him he must look cute with a red face and then explained that my hand slipped, and that is why I missed. I would have won the game if I killed him, but I chose to let him win since he is doing tasks.
I do feel happy that he actively said hi today and also bye in-game. I know it could also mean nothing but somehow I felt he was ignoring me when he never even bothered to say bye yesterday. I guess not everyone is meticulous and sensitive. My long-lost friend, however, is rather sensitive, but today he said something that sent chills down my spine. He said he wanted to kill me and I felt that statement rather scary until he continued to explain, lets do a 1 vs 1 battle, a friendly match as he wants to kill me in the match. He plays rather well and I should say if he has the right avatar and skins, he could easily be one of the top players. Later on he logged in to tell me, "I never lose, I either win or learn - Mandela". Then he continued to say that it also applies in life, not just game. He is also an extremely sensitive person and he told me his favorite color is pink. I feel it is rather peculiar that he seems to want to talk to me but I really have limited memories of what we ever spoke about. I was really sad back then and I can't remember things well when I am sad. I just feel there is a hint of danger and therefore I did not disclose so much about my life now.
I can't help feeling happy to have a little interaction with the teacher, even though it was just a few sentences (19 sentences to be exact, 7 by him, 12 by me, I talk too much!). I am still figuring out why do I care about him. Probably is it the same unexplainable reason why my long-lost friend cares for me. Still could not imagine a stranger praying for my safety, knowing I was alone in Kelantan before this. Probably it was those prayers that kept me safe along with my family's prayers. Looking back at life back then, I really do not know how did I endure. It is so pleasant to have a lovely home, a comfortable air-conditioned bedroom, warm home-cooked meals, my own car to drive around and good company. Gosh I am really going to miss my brother and sister-in-law as I am moving back next Saturday to my own home which I never get to stay permanently previously.
I miss my husband; I hope he hasn't slept. I'm going to give him a call now. Today I wrote him an embarrassing message but it is also what I want to tell him and let him know so that we could improve our relationship. Sometimes I do imagine what life would be without my husband and I do not like it at all. I do need him, and he is the perfect one for me because only he could understand me and grant me the freedom to be myself. With him, there is no pretense. I can choose not to shave my leg hair (I have lots of leg hair!) and he still loves me for who I am.
He slept off I think, I guess I shall call him tomorrow.
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