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太认真

 我才认识“小三”不到两个月,但是当他今天拉黑我,我觉得如此的难过。他说没拉黑但是明明把我删掉了。就上个星期三打游戏时他对我不耐烦,我也有点不开心就和他说“拜拜,下次别约我玩游戏了”。然后我们没有说话,直到早上他说 “怎么没有和我说早上好 生气啦”。 我也没回应,我不是不想回应可是感觉他可以随心所欲说我,没有顾虑我的感受,所以想让他知道我真的不喜欢也不允许他可以乱乱和我说话。没想到这几天游戏里他不说话,群里我也没说话,他也说得少,然后今天他不在我游戏好友列表里。我感觉很慌,我讨厌失去的感觉。我是个执着的人,是个重感情的人。也因为如此我才很难受。

今天和王者说了我的感受他问我是不是M人,我听不懂,接着他说我是很喜欢SM的吗?我也不懂那是什么东西。他解释说喜欢被打、被骂、被侮辱的,就是喜欢疼痛的。我说我不是呀,他觉得小三都这样对待我,我也没做任何对不起小三的事那么我为什么不能有点志气呢?我觉得他说得对,可是心里依然难受。

金先生呢就劝了我以下几个句子: 

“失之我幸,得之我命,难过是我执”

加上他拉黑我时,把我从游戏删掉时也不难受。 - “不是彼之悲也”

“所以干嘛用别人的错误,来惩罚自己。”

到最后他说 “ 你的选择,在感情上继续前进,你的理性,在逻辑上不断完善,就好了”

我说我老公都笑我傻,他说:

“哈哈,那是你善,但要给对的人,不是么?”

我哭了挺久,不是我想哭,是我控制不住眼泪一直掉下来。感觉真的很累。心,真的很累。我也很卑微的尝试再加他好友可是已经12个小时多了,他也没接受我的好友邀请。我太认真,太投入了。最糟的事是他惹了群里的一个人,然后刚巧是有权力把人从群里踢出去,他就因此被踢出群了。我有争取让他留下来,说要发红包我不能发那么我就送礼物。但是他还是被踢出去。真的无语。

我说他一直被踢可能会受伤,可能不再进群了。会长姐姐很潇洒的说“缘分到了自然就回来”。 

我还没修炼好我的心态。 一直修不好的话怎么去下一个境界呢? 

小三,谢谢你又来给我上人生的一堂课。再见了。

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