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I cannot focus

 I am not able to focus on my basic goals. I just want to be in a state of enjoyment all the time and it is getting to unhealthy levels. I managed to not play games for 24 hours, just 24 hours and when I started playing, I feel ecstatic. Is this addiction? Addiction is a brain disorder and it is defined as indulging oneself in the same activity even if it causes harm to oneself. I did achieve my goal to be promoted to legend 2 in the game but the amount of games I played last month was shocking, 600 plus games? Of course not all are score mode and some were duel battles that lasts around 2 minutes. Even so it is just unhealthy. There are a few things I need to do and complete within this month and perhaps stating it here will drive me to do them?

1. Graduation preparation: book flight tickets, hotel, plan my journey during graduation (zero motivation because I didn't want to spend money just for graduation but my parents insist I attend my graduation, I just  don't feel the excitement anymore nor do I feel like going to Penang just for a 3 seconds moment on stage)  deadline: 10/10/25

2. Complete my gift for my beloved teacher. I have lots of motivation to do this activity but I kept postponing it because it can be quite tedious translating an English book to Chinese but it is quite do-able and I learn lots in the process of doing so. I really hope teacher love the gift that he will receive on his birthday next month. I know he will not accept physical gifts from the gift function on wechat or taobao so this is the perfect gift for him. Deadline 11/11/25 

3. Teach my medical officers who are preparing to sit for exam next month.  I was suppose to do online class for them but I am lazy. Deadline: 14/10/25

Okay I will not add on to my list. 3 stuff is enough. if I can finish them all within the deadline I shall reward myself with a bowl of dessert. Oh no, I have a half-marathon coming up end of this month and I did not train for it yet! 

I actually typed all these during the day but the good news is goal number 1 is already completed 50% (parents and my tickets are booked except for the returning flight and hotel). I shall get back to goal number 2 which is only 10% completed. Maybe 2 pages a day and I will finish translating before his birthday. 

I can focus! I can! 

Why is the time running so fast? I promised my friend to play game at 1030pm! 

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