So I decided to lower my head and go back to begging the clan master to let me back into my previous clan. I think since my flag suits the name of the clan, it is only fitting for me to join back the clan. I am never ever gonna leave the clan anymore regardless of any circumstances and to show my sincerity I donated 120 gems which equals to 240 clan points. Of course clan master is not going to easily allow me to be submaster after entrusting me previously and I let her down. I do suspect clan master is a girl although I could be wrong. I suddenly feel so alive to be back there and although the members ignore me most of the time it is just nice to have a sense of belonging I think. Anyway during my short term as submaster since November, I did recruit a number of active players. I’m not sure if clan master finds me annoying for spamming the clan chat room with welcome messages whenever a new member comes or me being a little naggy about earning clan points for the clan. Now I will really work hard to gain back clan master’s trust and slowly try to reapply to be submaster again. Sigh it took me so many attempts before this and now the whole process need to be restarted again. It just feels like I’m home again! It is also ironic when I look at the clan list and saw the missing members - I really shouldn’t have quit the clan because of others when they ended up quitting too. It’s like everything that took place was redundant and could have been prevented in the first place. Sigh and I cried so much about it until my eyes are swollen for two consecutive days - silly me.
Today itchy boy ask me if I wanna go for breakfast tomorrow and again I told him no as I don’t want to have any involvement with him and he finally admit that he probably was sick to play such a terrible prank on me and needs a brain transplant. He then proceed to tell me I am safe as his taste are lady boys and proceed to send me a lady boy photo with skimpy clothings and I told him that the problem is not whether I am safe or not but he sending those images is going to be a problem if his spouse sees it and it isn’t right too. I don’t want to be misunderstood as a home wrecker nor do I want to spend my time explaining myself to someone’s else’s wife just because their husband does not know basic chatting etiquette. Gosh adult life is so hard at times! No adult life is not fun at all. I prefer being in primary school again, those were good times.
I remembered how I used to get my dad to buy me stickers and I would cut them out and resell them at school and make 500% profit. Gosh those were good days and I spend my recess playing catch with friends running like headless chickens all around the school and all I could remember was play and fun. Come to think of it I was never a very studious student but I did enjoy school a lot. It never felt stressful too which explains my bad grades for the national exam but oh well who cares, I had a good time and that was all that matters. I also miss the days collecting Pokémon cards and trading them amongst friends and battling using our cards. If I’m not mistaken I gave away my cards the last time I cleaned out my room and now I have regrets. I think we all will do things we eventually will feel regret but that’s life. Some regrets scar you for life some are stepping stones for growing up. The one that scar me the most is not being a vet and instead becoming a human doctor. There’s no U-turns for this, even my friend who shares the same feelings as me tried to apply for vet school but she got rejected because I think we are not young anymore and most local universities would probably want to admit the fresh young people. I think I would feel my life is more meaningful if I’m helping helpless animals than helping some ungrateful humans (especially those who deliberately engage in activities that destroys their own health and then expect us in the health care to do miracles). I’m not sure is it because of this major regret that makes me an angry person. Yes, I do think I have a lot of anger in me as I can be quite hot headed.
Today I failed to convince a colleague not to get me Starbucks. Actually the reason my colleague insist to get me one was because he felt indebted as I had taken over his job without additional pay pertaining a private patient (we get paid extra if we handle private patients). Well I took over because the boss asked me to take over and besides he was doing me a favour when he volunteered to stay back after his oncall to do those private cases as the boss had asked me to find someone to do the job. I don’t like to spend time searching for people and was glad when this colleague of mine responded within 3 minutes of me posting in the group. So he really didn’t have to feel indebted. Despite me not telling him what flavour I prefer he proceeded to get me Javachip frappucino - something I never had before. Actually I don’t really drink Starbucks and am not familiar with their drinks, the only thing I know is caramel macchiato and matcha latte and I find their drinks to be too sweet. However I guess I must be having hypoglycaemia from all of the studying and I somehow enjoyed the dessert-like drink. I guess free things in life are often tastier. Even so, I wonder how can I win the argument so that it ends with him not buying me a drink because now I feel indebted for having him deliver the drink all the way from the shop to my workplace. Should I have said something like I don’t drink Starbucks or I’m caffeine intolerant? Retrospectively I think I should have said that, I am just not fast in thinking at that moment.
So 2024 goal number 2: be submaster again!
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