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There is always a first!

 It is the 6th day being in a huge campus attending a course and sleeping in their student hostel. To be fair for a rate of MYR15 per night the hostel wasn’t so bad but if I were to rate the cleanliness of the place, I would only give it a 2/10. It made me reminisce about the times I stayed in a hostel for 4 years during undergraduate but it was a very nice hostel with an apartment style layout. Back then I was given a 3-bed room which means I have 2 other roommates but somehow 60% of the time one of the bed was not occupied so I basically only have 1 roommate and I was glad as I’m not into sharing when it comes to living space. I could still recall the unpleasant feeling of having to stay with another person with different habits and Circadian rhythm. However as humans we tend to recall the past to be milder than it was. I remembered my anger and frustration with my roommate who sleeps very late thereby having the lights on and prints course work at 2am. Printers those days were quite noisy and I would have palpitations just hearing the sound of the printer. Somehow I don’t seem to remember much of those negative feelings and whatever that is left from my memories as an undergraduate student was beautiful and pleasant. I loved the huge spacey metal lockers and my clean bed and study table. I would spend a lot of time playing pet society on my laptop and in the evenings I will jog over to the lecturer’s hostel to give them aerobic lesson. It is quite funny as I am not a certified trainer and learnt all my moves form YouTube but since I am doing it for free and they were willing to be my “students”, I gladly taught them whatever I know. I felt a sense of accomplishment when one of the lecturer was leaving to another university, he recorded the session so that he could continue the exercise at his new workplace. 


I kept hearing the phrase “there is always a first” lately and I’m wondering if it is a hint from the universe. First of all I myself am experiencing a lot of new experience such as having an international roommate from Pakistan and opening up to my best friend regarding my life for the past 1year. My roommate is a pleasant girl in her 30s and she is the eldest in the family. She came to Malaysia all by herself and is doing her doctorate in linguistic. I found her hair to be really beautiful and saw that she applied a lot of oil to her hair, eyelashes, brows and feet. I asked her about the oil and she showed me a bottle written “dabur amla hair oil” along with a separate bottle of rosemary essential oil. She shared that I should only drop 10 drops of rosemary essential oil into the entire bottle of hair oil and use it diligently for stronger hair. At the mentioned of rosemary essential oil, I think of him and I do wonder how is his hair now as both of us shared the same problem of receding hairline. 


I managed to have a heart to heart with my friend whom I haven’t met for 2 years and it was very intense. We slept at 3am as a consequence of the pillow talk and despite her going through so much of hardships in her life, I find her to be so much more resilient and strong and I admire her for that. She helped me identify my mistakes and she was firm and frank with me. She also made me reflect if I have really moved on from the past as I was still teary when I talk about it. I personally think I did move on and the only explanation for being teary is that I just sometimes miss the friend I lost. Things are just no longer the same as how it was when we first interact and sometimes I find myself missing his voice especially when he says “yes” or the times when he explained things to me. I really wanted to call him again and talk like how we used to but I know that it isn’t right. My friend highlighted to me that I should learn to maintain a firm boundary with the opposite sex and I should never text any opposite sex on a routine as I am already married. She find it hard to understand why did I even respond to itchy boy’s text and told me that I should not reply further or just respond with a reaction such as a “tick” symbol. She also explained to me that if she were itchy boy’s wife, she would be furious to know he is sending text messages to another girl. She reminded me that I am playing with fire by responding to his messages and should stop immediately. To be truthful I have never thought that my actions were harmful to my marriage or other people’s marriage but now I have much more insight and will be very careful with my communications with others especially the opposite sex. 


I went for a picnic 2 days ago with our “pass in one go” group. It was our first outing together despite the group being made since 2021 where we created the WhatsApp group for our studies and often meet online for discussion. It never have a profile picture before this but after our picnic we put our picnic photo as the profile picture for our group. It was a happy moment and despite starting our picnic late at 1030am the weather was good and we manage to find a shaded area to place our picnic mat. I loved the place as it is full of greenery and happy people. Definitely a place with a lot of positivity. I saw people taking wedding photos, graduation photos, a group of girls throwing a bridal shower and also people celebrating their birthday. It’s just lovely to see good things and feeling relaxed and peace internally. Even the birds seems friendly and dare to come near to peck on some bread crumbs on the ground. Sometimes I wish I could just go to the park, place a mat and lie on my back looking at the sky thinking of nothing on a weekly basis. Another alternative is to restart my meditation journey because whenever I meditate life just seem to flow smoothly for me no matter how turbulent my surrounds is. 


One of the things that I am grateful for this month is being in my old clan and being submaster again! (Thus achieving one of my 2024 goal!) Clan master was very sarcastic with me and had asked me if it was nice being with other clans but I explained that I have never joined any other clans when I left our clan. I’m just so glad clan master’s heart was still soft enough to let me be submaster again with a warning that it will be the last time he/she will give me this chance. I’m also looking forward to next week as I will finally be able to purchase Valentine skin for my turtle mobile and I would be able to see many many hearts when I shoot with my turtle mobile. I wonder if I should also get the skins for my other mobiles. 


Next 2024 goal: Be 49kg and maintain at 49kg

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