A series of events have shown me on how things work. It is also a turning point, an end point. It all started with the recent prank - an event that sensitised me to a certain word, the word in particular was “Mistress”. I know very well it has many different meanings and English is a very confusing language. However that sensitisation led me to feel extreme hurt when it appeared again in just a few days apart despite it indicating - female master. Maybe I thought the person would understand how I feel about that word since he appeared to be a very sensitive person himself and is able to pick up changes in emotions or read between the lines when he talk to others. That was how I remembered him.
I admit that my words used in my last post was indeed strong and it does reflect how I felt at that point of time. Yesterday I didn’t have a chance to reply or finish reading what he said and his profile disappeared from my chat screen. I just felt extremely sad with the remark that I can choose to believe whatever I want to believe and he did not want to clarify on certain things. Now there’s two options:
1) talk it out
2) continue with the plans of “we never met”
I am glad you finally deleted me from your life. If it takes me to be harsh to enable you to do that then so be it because I asked you to move on from the catfish but you never did. Someone who cheated on your feelings and wasted your time. Someone who never value or care for you. Someone who was unworthy of you.
If we are continuing with option 2 (as what I have written above), I wish you could fulfil a request that I would like to make. Can you rejoin the clan and stay and let me quit instead? I’m glad to know you have real life friends in there and I want you all to have fun. I told you the clan was dear to me only because of the memories with you there. Although I do love the silver crown next to my name, I’m not a power craze person and I think the greater good will be for you to stay and for me to leave if being in the same clan makes option 2 invalid.
Thank you for all your care, I promise to 用心 in all that I do. I have always kept all my promises that I had with you and I hope you keep yours too. I know if you choose option 2 I will no longer hear from you and that would mean my prayer to severe ties came true. I regret making such prayers but it is too late.
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