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Greener on my side

 We often hear that the moon is brighter overseas or the grass is greener on the other side. However only when we actually experience the other side will we actually know if it is really better. 


I find my neighbour to be absent for quite some time since my return from Singapore and it took me another 3 weeks to actually send him a text to ask if he was on a long vacation. He told me he got married and wanted to invite me but I was not around and have moved out to live with his wife. I often thought his room should be cooler as the sun only shines on one surface of the wall in the evenings whereas my room gets two surfaces exposed to sunlight. I also assumed his room would be more quiet as my room acts as a shield for the noise that comes from the main road. I also thought changing environment would be good for me. So I told the my landlord that I want to take a look at my neighbouring room. 


Whatever I had assumed was correct. It was cooler, it was less noisy and it was much bigger than my current room. It’s like a room for 2 persons and it also had an exhaust fan with 8 sockets! (Mine only had 3) However the biggest drawback was it does not have a sink. I was trying to imagine myself being there and the more I imagined it, the more I could not accept it. Moreover the bathroom colour scheme was white and brown and somehow I don’t feel as happy to use the bathroom as compared to mine with pretty blue flowers on white tiles. I also had a bigger fridge and a solid countertop for me to prepare food. After giving it some thoughts I told the owner that I cancelled my plans to move next door. 


What did I learn from this experience? 

  1. I often think that the other side is always better but in reality although it may be better there’s also other trade offs that might be unacceptable 
  2. I can change my environment as many times as I want but what needs changing is my mindset, not my environment 
  3. Do not assume. My neighbour loved his room and had encouraged me to move as he feels very comfortable and motivated to study in that room. Having listen to his feedback before viewing the room I had painted a lot of ideas on my mind and was so positive that I will be moving out that I had actually started to clear out my room and pack some of the things into a box. Moral of the story, always see with your own eyes before making a conclusion.


If I were to apply the same things above to my relationship with my partner, then the lesson would be something like this: 


  1. I often think a relationship with someone more romantic and sensitive than my partner would be better. There are indeed many people better than my partner but I am aware that I might not be able to put up with their “flaws”. 
  2. I can attempt to overwrite my memories as much as I want but what needs changing is my heart and not my memories.
  3. Never assume things just by words. Anyone can utter sweet nothings but then again they are really “nothing”, not until it is translated into action. Value the person who make you feel loved through their actions. 


It will be earplugs and wide opened windows and doors for now, but these are trade offs that I could accept. Furthermore, the joy of having a sink is often taken for granted just like how I had took my partner for granted before. I need a sink in my life just as much as I need my precious partner in my life. 




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