Tonight the weather is rather cold and I was feeling hungrier than usual. I was feeling a little guilty to eat as I did not run for a week due to the rainy weather and busy schedule. I somehow passed through my week completing all relevant task and had catch up doing some overdue work such as my logbook. I guess documentation is my most dreaded tasks and if I could hire a personal assistant to do that for me, I would. Despite not exercising, I was rather thankful when my friend invited me to dinner as I am craving for some freshly cooked chinese cusine. When my friend picked me up, I noticed he brought another friend along and did not introduce us and I did not bother to introduce myself too as they seem to be talking non stop regarding gas stations and benefits of applying some sort of card. I did not feel awkward but I felt a little left out initially until suddenly the new person started to ask me how did I find the place I am renting and how much was the rent. So without any introduction we just started conversing happily till we reached the restaurant.
The restaurant was rather peculiar as it has so much of full length mirrors, both the side walls had full length mirrors and it felt like a gym/dance studio. I told them that we are going to be so concious while eating cause we are going to look at the mirror and they just laughed. I was craving for some pork so we ordered a pork dish, chicken, vegetable and tofu. (宫保猪肉，三杯鸡，清炒油么，麻婆豆腐）The food was delicious and the portions and pricing was reasonable. However, of all the things I enjoyed the conversations. After we sat down and talk a little bit more, then only we decided to introduce ourselves. I find that he looks rather familiar but I don't know where have I met him and he thinks I look familiar too. After exchanging our education background, I realize he was my senior back in medical school. My senior is quite animated and full of expression when he speaks and it is just so entertaining to see someone speaks with so much energy. We talked about exams, work, rent, cultural differences between different states in Malaysia and finally on our way home we talk about marriage. I certainly don't know how did we transition between so many topics but the last one was quite interesting.
My senior was saying how he finds arranged marriage to be mindboggling as how can two people who don't know each other well, have to stay with each other for a life time. I agree with him but both of us also realize that we have such friends who goes through arranged marriage and seems to be quite steady in their marriages. This is when my friend analyses the whole situation for us. From his explanation, he said that in arranged marriages, the elders from the families discuss the marriage and they often have a good relationship from the start therefore problems such as issues with the in laws rarely arise. Furthermore, in arrange marriages love doesn't come into the equation and two strangers just have to navigate around each other and make it work since it is what their families have planned for them. Arrange marriages will only fail if the people who were arranged to be married refuse to cooperate. My senior argued that for a man probably it isn't so much of a problem as a man can sleep with a woman without having feelings but a woman can't. I wholeheartedly agree on this remark and I do think it is very unsettling to get married to a stranger that you have no feelings for. Of course some may argue that feelings can be developed but still I find it unacceptable.
In fact love marriage is a modern thing according to my friend and back in the old days marriages are often arranged. He also made me ponder on love marriage as he said "what happens when there is no more love in love marriages?" I think situations where there is no more love is when two people does not want to put in effort in filling each other's love tank or when there is no communication and understanding. Otherwise I think love marriages are more appealing than arranged marriages and if things doesn't work we can only reflect on our own choices and not blame our families. I also find arrange marriages does not respect how women's psychology works and it makes women to be at a vulnerable spot. As a woman I still find it hard to accept that a man can have sex without emotional connections despite all the available evidences I came across. Sometimes I do wonder why must such psychological difference exist as it only creates more conflict between the two sexes. I also find most men are hypocrites. They often fantasize on bonking women other than their wives but when questioned if they are okay with their wives being bonk by other men, they are not okay with it. Therefore I always have this perception that if women represents "Creation" men represents "Destruction" (I Know I am going to get a lot of hate from men for saying this).
Anyway, arranged or love marriage, hope everyone who have decided to get married can find happiness in their marriages. Also I am very glad that in the society I live in, females are being treated with dignity and are being taken care properly. Didn't know that in certain cultures females are still not being viewed as an equal to males and often times have to do all the work while males just need to be served like an emperor. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against males, I just felt a little triggered when my senior told me how his Hongkee brother in law's family are still living in the stone age and had celebrated when his sister bore a son but ignored the birth of a daughter and refuse to hold the baby girl. It would really be fun if right now at this point of time every birth from now on will only be males then in a few years time they all will not be able to find any females and will have to bonk each other. (Okay I'm just being ridiculous but if I were God, I would do so to punish men)
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