I have officially closed a beautiful chapter of my life. Despite some of the things that I wish did not happened, I choose to remember the things that were right, the things that were pure, the things that makes me smile whenever I recall them. I have also begun to forgive myself by my daily recitation of the ho'oponopono. Words are indeed powerful and it was your words that had pulled the golden string of my heart. I find subtle changes in my life when I started to forgive myself. First of all, I feel I could focus better on what is important, secondly I no longer feel depressed and lack of energy and lastly but most importantly, I feel more present and mindful. Letting go is really so important although it was so hard and soul shattering. Now I understand why my friend had given me "pheonix" as a nickname during the difficult times in my life. If you observe the life cycle of a pheonix, it shows that these mythical creatures build their grave and perish in flames and then is reborn again. Yes, I am going to be just like that, to have my soul renewed and rebirth again, a new beginning, a clean slate.
If there is a song that I wanted to dedicate to the person whom I cared dearly, it would be Lady Gaga's Remember us this way. However, knowing that the person I care should not be remembering me, I stumbled upon a new song which I feel is more appropriate. We had one last proper goodbye although I know I breeched my partner's trust again by communicating with my twin-flame but I think it is necessary to inform him because it is not my style to leave a person hanging without a closure. I learn that he isn't very happy and is struggling with certain things within him and I wish I could help him but I couldn't. I know his driving force is Love and today I listened to this song called "Love is the answer" by Natalie Taylor and I feel it is suitable for him. I hope he continue to believe in Love and all the good things life can bring him and also find in his heart to forgive whoever he needs to forgive. Just get out of the vortex of lies and of "what could have been", start living properly as we do not know how long more do we get to enjoy our time on earth.
Time seems to past faster for me now with so many backlog of work that requires my immediate attention. I am back to setting goals - short term, medium term and long term goals. To push me further, my friend texted me yesterday to inform me she have submitted her thesis write up and is the first in her batch to do so. It is a good motivation for me and I aim to finish mine by September. At the same time surprise exams might come up anytime for me since I will be going into my final year and taking the role of a registrar which means more responsibilities. I am a little anxious with how little time I have with so many things to do but I think a little bit of stress and anxiety is good, besides I was too laidback and was procrastinating too much. I'm going back to my old strategy, small baby steps everyday with consistency which is surely to accumulate into success - exactly how I passed my primary exams in one attempt. I can do it, you can do it, everyone can do it, we just need to put our minds to it and yes, Love is the answer (Always Love yourself everyday).
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